A Day In The Life Of...

Final Post

2006-01-11T16:39:00.000-08:00

A New Year + New Me = New Blog

I have cleaned up this blog a bit to make it primarily about my dating experiences in 2005. So for those of you who have read it for that reason feel free to reflect back anytime. ;-)

Over n Out,

DD

What I've Learned From Dating in 2005

2005-12-31T14:29:00.000-08:00

This past year was a year of getting back into the dating scene and getting reacquainted with who I am and what I want in life and in a relationship. I posted a profile on Match in late 2004 and went out with Tim who I totally obsessed over initially, that being simply because he was the first guy I dated after the Ex. So starting with Tim who was actually from 2004 I'm going to write a quick synopsis of what I have learned from the guys I've dated since the Ex.

1) Tim: He was tall, nice build, gorgeous Blue eyes and a killer smile. He was also very sarcastic, I totally fell for him. After our first date, which during we ended up naked, he told me that I wasn't ready for a new relationship that I needed to be single for awhile. At first I was upset but I later learned that he was right. He kept in touch for close to a year, we got together for oral sex about 3 times, he was incredible! He was the first guy to give me the big "O" from oral sex and there was only one after him that could. He was very talented with his tongue. ;-)

2) The Inspector: A very nice guy, physically not my type. We met for dinner and had good conversation, I knew instantly there wasn't any chemistry but he was nice. We went a saw a movie after diner. I gave him a hug goodbye. He called a few days later asking me out for lunch, I never called him back. (I know, rude of me.)

3) The Lighting Guy (LG): I was interested instantly after reading his e-mail to me. We had SOOOO much in common and he was gorgeous. We met at Dukes for dinner and I had the BEST 1st date of my life. We totally clicked. On date number 4 we slept together, but something was off. We dated for close to two months and eveytime we had sex it was over quickly and I never orgasmed. After my trip to NYC he broke thing off with me. I was sad but knew it was the right thing to do, as much as I liked him and wanted things to work, there was just something missing. We kept in touch and actually went out a couple months ago and caught up, it was nice. From my dating experience with him I learned that chemistry is VERY important, a relationship needs more then just shared interests.

4) [b] : Another guy that I was totally into from the get go. He was good looking, smart, funny and sarcastic. When we met there was incredible chemistry. We had a great diner and kissed goodnight. He called a few days later and we made plans to see eachother again. His job ran late that night so dinner was off but he asked me to come over to his place. This is where I went wrong. I went over, he showed me his work we had great conversation and then started kissing, one thing led to another and we had sex, 3 times. It was AWESOME! Even though I never heard from him after that night, I have no regrets. A relationship never would've worked between us, he was way too dedicated to his work. But DAMN, the sex was incredible, I could've gone for a few more rounds of casual sex with hm. O'well.....

5) The Surfer: The Surfer was a great guy, I liked him a a lot. We had four dates, all were fun but the last date was lacking something that was there before. There was also a week or two between each date, things never really took off. After my 3rd date with the Surfer I got together with the Super and I ended up kinda blowing the Surfer off. A few months later the Surfer e-mailed asking how I was doing. No hard feelings there.

6) The Super: The Older Man. The physical chemistry with the Super was indescribable. It was a force I couldn't control. I knew he wasn't right for me in the beginning but I couldn't help myself. We had a lot of fun together over the four months that we dated. But ultimately he couldn't give me what I wanted in a relationship. From my relationship with him I learned what I really want and that I need to get out there and find it. So, that's why I ended things with the Super, we are still good friends and talk about once a week.

7) "A" : "A" should stand for ASSHOLE! He really was. I tried to give him the benefit of doubt, but he was such an opinionated jerk. After our one date he e-mailed me the next day say he just wasn't feeling it. An that was that.

So those were my dating experiences of 2005. I've learned a lot about myself and what I'm looking for in a relationship this past year. I'm looking forward to what 2006 has in store for me and my Love Life.

Happy New Year! May 2006 be the Best Year Yet!

DD

Blind Date

2005-12-22T15:55:00.000-08:00

Right before I started dating the Super back in May, my mom had asked me if she could give her Carpooler my e-mail address to give to his son. I figured why not? I never heard from him. Now, 6 months later my mom says that he is asking for my e-mail again and can she give it out? Sure, why not? So he e-mailed me last week asking if I would like to meet for lunch or drink some time this week. I responded back that Tuesday or Thursday would work for me. He called me this past Sunday to firm up plans for Tuesday night. He asked if we could meet up at El Torito, so we did.

Going into this date I virtually knew NOTHING about this guy other then his name, age and that he has a dog. He called at 6 pm to let me know that he was stuck in traffic but should be there in a few minutes, so I went into the bar and grabbed a table and ordered a margarita. He told me what he was wearing so when I saw him walk in I flagged him over. I was actually surprised that he was pretty good looking, his fashion was a bit out of date and he needed a hair cut but he had a handsome face and pretty blue eyes.

He ordered a beer and then asked if I would like a taco from the Taco Bar, he went and grabbed us some tacos and returned to the table. He had heard about my dog that I used to have that now lives with some friends of mine so we talked about that for awhile and then he told me some stories about his dogs and talked about our families etc. Somehow we got on the subject of marriage and he asked if I want to get married, I responded "of course". He said that he has NO intention of EVER getting married. Ok.... nice thing to say on a first date. The subject later changed to religion and the idea of Freewill. He is one opinionated dude! What is it with me dating these obstinate men lately???

Overall I had a decent time. We had good conversation even if he dominated it most of the time however, there was NO love connection. I don't know that I will let my mom set me up anymore, I'll stick to Match and the random chance of bumping into someone in everyday life.

And now....I am actually off to have dinner with the Super. I haven't seen him since we broke up 2-1/2 months ago. I'm looking forward to it, it will be good to see him.

Details to follow tomorrow.......

DD

The Holiday Season

2005-12-13T10:41:00.001-08:00

I generally enjoy the Holiday Season, for it is filled with friends, family and parties. The next couple of weeks are FULL of activities for me.

Tonight: Going to a local Bar/Club on Main St. for a locals Holiday Party. Half off drinks and free buffet. I'm going with a couple of single girlfriends, should be a good time.

Thursday: Company Holiday Party, I always have a good time at the company Holiday Party b/c I have ALWAYS (past 4 yrs) had a date who was my DD, so I could drink myself silly. This year I am going Stag due to the fact that I am SINGLE as can be, also b/c my sister& best co-worker friend are both going Stag as well so we can keep eachother company among the many happy couples. I will however need to drive myself home that night so I will have to settle with just a couple of drinks early in the evening.

Friday: Holiday party at Whitney & Andy's new gorgeous house. My entire HS Posse will be there plus some others, I'm hoping there will be some single guys there and not just a crowd of couples. I will be attending with my 4 best Girfriends and their significant others and getting a ride back to Monkeys place to crash there for the night so I will be able to drink myself silly at this party. ;-) Good Times...

Saturday: Sleep off the hangover from Friday night and have Brunch with 4 Best GF's and significant others then, meet up with Mom to finish up Holiday shopping then have dinner with the Parental Units and Little Sis.

Sunday: Annual Holiday Party and Gift Exchange with the HS Posse at Will & Ali's. Myself and Biz will be the ONLY singles at this party, yeah! This party is usually very fun but I tend to leave feeling depressed b/c I just spent the evening with Happily married couples who have children.

Next Wednesday: Holiday Potluck and White Elephant Luncheon at work. ALWAYS fun! Way too much food but everybody really gets into the White Elephant and people fight over gifts, good times.

Next Friday: Dinner with My Girls....and then who knows, hopefully a night on the town.

Christmas Eve: Family festivities in the LBC

Christmas Day: Spend the entire day at my parents with my mom's mom and aunt & uncle from AR, have dinner and open presents. After dinner go to my friend Cre's moms place for drinks and more good times.

Monday: Paid Holiday = NO work!!! Recover from the holidays so that I can Party like a Rock Star next Saturday on New Years Eve.

New Years Eve: I think I'll be attending a Dress-Up party, I have NO idea what to wear. The theme is Dress as Your Favorite Era. Hmmmm.,.. '80's? '60's? I really don't want to have to BUY something to wear. Need to think about this one a bit more.

Why I am PISSED OFF at the Holiday Season this year:

1) I am still single. *The Holidays are always more enjoyable when you have a significant other, for me anyway.

2) I am never prepared finacially for the Holiday Shopping.

3) I spend more $$$ on gifts then I get a return since I am single w/out children. I know, the Holiday Spirir is to Give and NOT receive, but come on for my friends who are married with children I buy 4 gifts and get 1 in return. Bah-Humbug!

4) Most of all I am pissed off b/c I think about my Ex. I wonder if he live with the Bitch that he left me for yet, or if they're engaged. DAMN HIM! I want him OUT of my thoughts!!!

That's it. The reasons why I like the Holidays and why I hate them this year. At least the Good out weighs the Bad by quite a bit. ;-)

Happy Holidays Everyone!

DD

Could this be a new beginning...

2005-11-01T10:05:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to dinner with someone from my past. He called me on my drive home and said he knew it was last minute but did I want to get together for a drink? I had no plans so I said sure.

He met me at my place a little before 8 pm and we walked down to Main Street and had dinner and split a bottle of wine and had really nice conversation for a couple of hours. There was great people watching since it was Halloween and several people were dressed up. It felt really nice spending time with him again, I was actually more comfortable with him then I ever was when we were dating. Maybe it's b/c the pressure was off and as far as I knew it was just a friendly dinner.

We walked back to my place and I invited him in. He sat on the couch and I sat on my bed across from him (my studio is very small). We talked for about a half hour and then he used the restroom and said he should get going. He gave me a hug and I told him it was good to see him, he said it was good to see me as well and as he pulled away from our embrace he kissed me on the lips. We continued to kiss and soon we were in a tight embrace kissing eachother. He walked me towards the bed and we laid down and made out for awhile and then turned the light off and kept at it until all of our clothes were off and one thing lead to another and we had some really awesome sex. It was very tender and slow yet passionate and hot at times.

Afterwards he said "Wow, that was awesome". I said "Yes, and unexpected". He hadn't expected it either. I told him as he laid on top of me and I was stroking his back that I'm very comfortable with him. His response was just a mumbled "Ummmm..." I don't know why I said that. I wasn't sure what to think of what had just happened. I'm still obviously very attracted to him and really enjoy spending time with him but I don't know what his intentions are.

I asked him if he was going to stay over and he said he probably shouldn't, his alarm clock was set at his place and it's pretty loud and doesn't want it to wake up the neighbors, so he should go home. I said "That's cool, I was just offering". And then he rolled over and put his arm around me and kissed my side and then my lips. He got dressed, gave me a hug and few sweet kisses good bye and he mentioned that he wants me to see his new place, maybe next week sometime. I told him I look forward to it and I'll talk to him soon.

The ball is totally in his court. I'm not going to peruse him. He''ll call if he wants to see me. I feel like I was too aggressive with him before and that may have been what chased him off. I'm not sure what's going to happen but I know that I'm TOTALLY up for giving it another chance with him. Things ended amicably with us when we broke up and we've kept in touch ever since so there's really no reason to not give it another go.

We shall see what happens. But I will tell you one thing, I have the biggest grin ever on my face today. Last night was incredible. ;-)

Breaking Up is HARD to do

2005-10-13T15:38:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks I have been taking a long hard look at my relationship with the Super. Although he is a fantastic guy and has treated me wonderfully, he's just not "The One". I was struggling with how I was going to do it, break up with him. Well, last week he presented me with the perfect opportunity. Here's what happened:

Last Thursday his cell phone broke, so we didn't talk at all that day which was the first time in months that we didn't hear eachothers voice. Friday, I e-mailed him my phone number so he could get in touch with me since his phone book is stored in his cell, he couldn't access my cell number. All day, nothing from him, no call no e-mail. Then around 4 pm I got a call from his secretary at his office asking if I had another phone number for him, they are trying to get in touch with him since he didn't show up for work. I told her, no I don't have any other number and I actually hadn't talked to him myself for a couple of days. Now I was concerned, it's not like the Super to not show up for work or call in. I tried his cell again, straight to v-mail.

All weekend I tried to call him, no answer just v-mail. I was feeling a combination of frustration and concern, where in the HELL was he?? And is he ok???

Monday when I got into work I gave him a call from my work line and he ANSWERED! I was so stunned that I hung up. About 10 mins later when I collected myself I called him back, straight to v-mail. WHAT THE HELL??? Now I was PISSED!! So I wrpte him the following e-mail:

Super,

Are you going to enlighten me on where you were all weekend and why I never heard from you? For what it's worth I was worried sick all weekend. When Louise called me Friday afternoon asking if I had another phone number for you b/c they couldn't get in touch with you and you hadn't shown up for work I started to worry. I e-mailed you my phone numbers and called and left you a voice mail, I thought I would've heard something from you by now.

I called your cell phone several times this weekend and always got your v-mail until this morning when I called and you answered, I was so shocked that I hung up. When I collected myself enough to call you back and talk to you, I got your v-mail again, which tells me that you are avoiding me and don't want to talk.

I don't know what's going on with you, but I think I deserve an explanation. If this is your way of breaking things off with me, it's WEAK!

If you don't want to talk to me, I hope that you will at least respond to this e-mail to give me a Heads-Up to what's going on.

His response:

I'm sorry I didn't call you. Thanks for caring, I have a lot of crap going on in my head right now and you don't deserve the silent treatment. My phone is getting fixed right now(I'm getting a new one and when you called we were in the middle of it. It should be working shortly and my daughter is having some serious problems right now, I'm trying to sort that out, some things are a bit overwhelming to me right now and I just have to get through it. I will call you when I can today, again I'm very sorry for my actions!

We finally talked briefly on Tuesday morning. He told me that his daughter got into a confrontation with 3 other girls at school and they may need to get a Lawyer. So that is why he didn't go to work Friday and then he gave me some small talk about work and then had to go attend to a work matter. I didn't talk to him again until I called him last night.

I woke him up from a nap at 8:30 pm and he sounded down. He says all he wants to do is come home and sleep. He then asked how I was doing, I told him I've had a lot on my mind and I've been thinking a lot about what I want for my future and from a relationship and that our relationship isn't healthy. When he had a family crisis he didn't call his Girlfriend for support or even to tell me what was going on, instead I was left in the dark not hearing from him for 5 days and assuming the worst. He apologized and agreed that I deserve better, and that is just his way of dealing with his stress. He keeps to himself, that's fine for him, not me. I want my significant other to talk to me and lean on me for support. So I told him that this past weekend had just solidified my decision that we aren't right for eachother, we want different things from a relationship right now. When we started dating we were both on the same page, we didn't want anything serious, just to date and have fun, but then it turned into something more, but not quite what I want and need now. He understood and we both said we would like to stay friends.

We are supposed to have dinner tonight to talk some more. He is going through a tough time and I want to be there for him as a friend. I'll have a full report tomorrow about whatever we end up talking about tonight.

So, here I am once again....SINGLE. But it's good. I've learned a lot about myself from my relationship with the Super and he has shown me how I deserve to be treated (this past week aside) he always complimented me and made me feel good about myself and we always had a good time with eachother. I have realized that I am ready to meet someone special and open my heart up to a new relationship and possibly one that lasts forever.

Wish me luck on finding Love. ;-)

Over n Out,

DD

It's Time To Make a Decision

2005-10-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

Can I just say that knowing you need to end a relationship with someone who has been NOTHING but wonderful to you absolutely SUCKS!

The last couple of weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I want in the LONG run for my romantic future. I know that eventually I want to get married, start a life with someone and eventually have a family together. I've also realized that I really want to experience all of those things for the first time along with my partner. My feeling for the Super have weakened and I know that he's not "The One". I need to break things off with him. It's going to SUCK! I care about him soooo much. He's been nothing but wonderful to me and I know that my reasons for breaking things off with him will hurt.

I'm used to being the "Dumpee" not the "Dumper", sucks either way. Also, breaking up with him will most likely mean ending our friendship as well. I hope not, but we all know how it goes when one person still wants more then the other, a friendship is hard to make happen. I know I need to do this soon, but I just can't do it yet.

Am I being selfish? I'm just not quite ready for things to end, not just yet.

HOLLY HELL THIS REALLY SUCKS!

Over n Out,

DD

Who Knew???

2005-09-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

Last week I went onto Match just out of curiosity to see if a couple of the guys that I had dated in the past were still on there and if they were active. I looked for LG, [b], and the Surfer's profiles, all three were still active. Guess they are still single.

I had "HIDDEN" my profile a couple of months ago when the Super and I decided to move on to "Relationship" status. I must have re-activated my profile when I signed on and not realized it because....when I checked my e-mail on Monday I had 4 new e-mails from Match. I was confused? How did I get new mail? So I logged back on to Match and sure enough my profile was back-up. So guess who the e-mails were from....

The first was from Tim who I dated over a year ago, he was the first guy I met on Match. We have some what stayed in touch ever since, he used to stop in at the Bucks once in awhile. For some reason he NEVER calls me, he''ll either stop in the Bucks or send an e-mail...through Match, not my personal e-mail. I couldn't respond to his e-mail and apparently I don't remember his personal e-mail b/c it kept coming back to me...o'well, he's lame anyway.

The second e-mail was from the Surfer. Just saying hello and that he had called me a few weeks back but never heard back from me and he knows what that means LOL. no worries, he just wanted to say Hi. Ok, the reason I didn't return his last call was b/c he waited like 4 weeks to call me after the last time we went out. I had already moved on and thought he was out of the picture. The last time we hung out we ran out of things to talk about and it got awkward, so I chose not to call him back and I can't respond to this e-mail, and I never got his personal e-mail...o'well.

The third e-mail was from a new guy. I checked out his profile, seems like a cool guy but, I'm not exactly available to date anyone new right now.

And last but certainly not least was an e-mail from LG. I was pleasantly surprised! I hadn't heard from LG since he called me on my Birthday in May. He was basically just saying hello and wanted to know how I was doing. I actually remember LG's personal e-mail so I sent him a response, just with a quick update on my life, that I moved back to HB (he lives there too) and life is overall good. He wrote back with a brief update on how he's doing and said "We should get together sometime and catch up". HMMMMMM, ok, so I wrote back and said I would love to grab and drink or a bite and catch up sometime and gave him my number (in case he lost it). So now I'm waiting to see if I hear from him. I've actually thought about him quite a bit since I moved back to HB because I know he lives close by, I'm always wondering if I'll run into him at the market or downtown, never thought I would actually HEAR from him! It would be good to see LG, he's a good guy and we had a lot in common, I miss him.

So, I've decided to leave my profile up for awhile, just to see what responses I get. I'm not a subscribing member, so I can't respond to e-mails or send any new ones of my own. Just a fun little experiment. SHHHHH, don't tell the Super. ;-p
I'm NOT cheating, it's all innocent, right?

Over n Out,

DD

Dating Update

2005-07-13T16:31:00.000-07:00

So back to our usually schedule Blog Fodder....

Things with the Super are VERY good these days. We talk several times a day usually but have only been seeing eachother about once a week. He came over on Sunday night and we ordered pizza and watched "The Pacifier" he's a BIG Vin Diesel fan. We then went into the bedroom for some Adult fun. ;-) I love when he stays over, he's a big cuddler and very affectionate except....he SNORES! Very loudly I might add. I didn't get much sleep on Sunday night.

Monday night I was working at the Bucks and one of my ex-co-workers, Ben came into say Hello. I hadn't seen him since January when he transferred to another store. He asked me to take a break and come outside to catch up with him. Ben was my date to my Corporate Holiday party last Christmas. I had a HUGE crush on him at the time, eventhough he is 5 years younger then me I was very attracted to him. Nothing physical ever happened with Ben, just a lot of flirting. He asked for my number so we can go have beers sometime, Right On.

Then, when I got home Monday night I checked my e-mail and I had an e-mail from The Surfer, who I hadn't heard from since a week and half earlier when we went to dinner. I never posted about that date, so here's what happened in a nutshell: We met at the Wind & Sea for dinner, good food, good conversation but something was off. We then went for a walk around the harbor, I found myself at a loss of things to talk about. He wanted to go back to his place and go in the spa. I had brought my suit so I agreed to it. Things continued to get more awkward, nothing to talk about....the spa turned off at 10pm, community spa, so we went back to his place where we watched "Old School". He just laid there on his bed next to me, made NO moves. When the movie was over, I was out of there. He walked me to my car, gave me a hug and a quick kiss and I was off. I was positive that would be the last time I saw him. I didn't think I would hear from him either but, there it was an e-mail. But all it said was "Just wanted to say Hi, I'm sure you're as busy as ever. Talk to ya later." The Surfer.
Great e-mail huh? I'm so done with him. In the 3 months I have been dating him, he's called my like 5 times and usually prefers e-mail. Just seemed strange to me.

So then, there was also an e-mail from a guy I dated about a year ago, first guy I dated and slept with since the break-up with the EX. I hadn't heard from him for about 3 months. I e-mailed him back but haven't heard anything more. I'm not sure what he wanted...all he said was "So...what's new."

The men from the past are coming out of the woodwork again, but why? What do they want? They are so vague.

Well, I'm looking forward to Friday. The Super is taking me to the House of Blues in Anaheim this Friday to see his friends band play. I'm really looking forward to it! He wants to take me out for dinner and drinks before the show. I think this is going to be our 1st REAL date. Up until now we've just hung out really. Should be fun.

Well, it's time to go HOME!

See Later!

DD

I'm Falling......

2005-07-08T11:02:00.000-07:00

This past week has flown by! I've been working so much and have had so many social commitments I've hardly had a chance to breath.

Last weekend was awesome. The Super went to my friends 4th of July party with me and we had a blast! All of my friends LOVED him and he had a great time. I can feel myself falling for him. He gives me butterflies, he compliments me all of the time, he simply makes me feel special. He's definitely not someone I would've thought I would fall for but what can I say the heart wants what the heart wants.

The Super is moving out of his Ex's house tomorrow. We have talked extensively about our feeling for eachother and I have also let him know that I can not open my heart and soul up to him until he is free and clear of his last relationship. I can't believe how quickly he is doing that.

It wasn't a simple transition for him, he cares for his Ex, he's just not in love with her. She had a very hard time with it, she called me 3 times last weekend saying that she really wants to talk to me. I told the Super about it and told him to tell her that I don't want to talk to her, the two of them need to talk it out. He told me that I am NOT the reason he is leaving her, I'm just the one that pushed him to do it sooner then later. If that indeed is true, she shouldn't have anything to discuss with me.

Last night the Super and I had a Heart to Heart talk about his Ex and my feelings about how he withheld info about her from me in the beginning. I told him that had I known that they lived together in the beginning, I never would've gotten involved with him, I'm NOT that kind of person. I had a very selfish person destroy my relationship with my Ex. She had met me the same weekend she met my Ex and knew the status of our relationship yet she pursued him anyway. I certainly don't think I fall into the same category as her. As I started explaining that situation to the Super, I started to cry. I told him that since my break-up with my Ex over a year ago I haven't been able to trust a new guy with my heart, and I want to trust him with it but I'm having a hard time b/c of our situation. The Super has not lied to me, but he has withheld info. But once I asked him further questions he was honest with me. He promised me last night that he will never lie to me, he wants to be honest with me about everything and truly feels horrible for what he has put me and his Ex through in this situation.

He summed things up by saying something that really hit home with me. The night that we got together, was totally random, no one could've predicted it. There was alcohol involved and we both thought it would be a one time thing. But we both felt something that night while we were holding eachother in bed cuddling and kissing. When you feel that special "something" with someone, you lose control of your head and you follow your heart. He told me that I make him happier then he has ever been and he has spent way too much of his life being unhappy and looking out for other peoples feelings.

Maybe I'm just a fool in love, but those words and the sincerity in his voice took my breath away. I'm falling...HARD....and FAST. My heart is opening up, I hope he treats it with care.

Over n Out,

DD

A Sticky Situation

2005-06-27T13:14:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday night I met up with the Super at The Catch, a Bar across from Angel Stadium. We had a couple beers and HOT Wings before my friends arrived and we talked a little more about his situation with the EX girlfriend. He started off by telling me that he feels really bad for not telling me the whole story sooner but under the circumstances, those being he didn't think things would go past the one night together, he didn't feel it was necessary to go into detail with me on the Girlfriend. But now, he needs to explain things to me because he has developed serious feelings for me and wants to pursue a relationship with me.

Sooooo, he lives with the Girlfriend....I almost shit myself. This is exactly what happened with my Ex that I lived with for 2-1/2 years, he left me for another woman. Of course every situation is different. Still, had I known that he LIVED with the Girlfriend, I NEVER would've gotten together with him. He could see the shock on my face. He said "I feel like a scummy bastard for lying to you, I don't blame you if you hate me."

Well, I told him I don't hate him, but I'm not thrilled with this news. It definitely affects my trust in him. He understood. He told me that he has been trying to break things off with her for several months and wanted to move out but he had made some commitments to finishing some projects on the house before he moved out. He has been working hard to get those projects done. He says he plans on moving out at the end of July. I told him that I can NOT open myself up to a relationship with him until he has moved out of her house. He understood.

So I have not seen the Super since last Wednesday, and I don't plan on spending much time with him in the next month. He has been invited by my friends to their 4th of July BBQ this weekend though. It should be fine. I just don't want to be alone with him until he changes his living situation.

I'm probably making a mistake by giving him a chance, but I can't help myself. He's so much fun to be with and he makes me feel great.

I am still going to date other people for the time being. In fact, the Surfer is back from Baja once again and called last night and wants to get together this week. I'm IN! He's a Babe and I very much enjoy his company.

ShibaDiva is going to attempt to juggle folks. Let's see how I do. ;-p

I'm out~

DD

A Little Bit of Clarity

2005-06-21T16:34:00.000-07:00

So the Super and I have still not had "The Talk" but we have touched on the subject and he has clarified a few questions that I had.

I didn't talk to him all weekend, his dad is still in town and I was up in LA for the weekend. On my way to work Monday he called me on my cell. We caught up with eachothers weekends etc. and then he told me he misses me and he really would like to see me soon. And he says he really needs to have that talk with me and explain things and his thoughts and he is eager to know what I think. We've had plans to go to the Angels Game on Wednesday with some friends of mine, I'd like for us to have our "talk" before then. So, today while we were on the phone we talked about things a little. He explained that he has been Friends with Leilani for several years and they have had a physical relationship on and off between other relationships. He says he's been trying to break things off with her for the past few months but it hasn't been easy. He says that she has known all along that he is not Committed to her, he wants his freedom do what he wants. I told him that I had figured from the first weekend that he told me a little about her that it sounded like a relationship of convienece for him, he agreed and said that he didn't feel right about it because she has always felt more strongly for him then he has for her.

He wanted me to know that he didn't cheat on her with me. They have always had an open relationship. He never hid anything from her when she was on his computer last week and saw my e-mails he told her about me, honestly. She was upset, naturally and demanded to know how he felt about me and he told her that he wasn't expecting to have the kind of feelings for me that he has. He broke things off with her last week.

That is as much history on their relationship that I've gotten so far. He says he really wants to explain everything to me later in person when we have more time. I'm satisfied with what he has told me so far. I know that he has chosen to pursue a relationship with me and has broken things off with her.

I'm not sure where things will go with the Super but I'm willing to find out. Despite what some of you may think of him, he is a really awesome person. He's been honest with me as far as I can tell. maybe I'm being too trusting and maybe I'll get hurt in the future but the way that he makes me feel is worth taking that chance.

I hope to get even more clarity on where I stand with him tomorrow. I'll have the full update on Thursday.

I'm Out..

DD

A "SUPER" Situation with the Super

2005-06-16T10:57:00.000-07:00

After stewing all day yesterday wondering what the Super was going to tell me about this e-mail from his Girlfriend, he called me this morning while on his way to work. He was in a good mood and told me all about his Son's graduation the day before and then said "Your message yesterday said it was Important, what's up?" I told him he might want to wait until he had some time to talk with out being overheard, his Dad was in the car with him at the time. He replied with "I don't mind my dad over-hearing anything I have to say." Well all-righty then....I told him that I got an e-mail from Leilani the day before. His response...."Oh, you did?" I asked how she got my e-mail, she apparently saw my e-mails that I had sent him. I asked if he knew that she had e-mailed me..... No, he did not. He was quick to get on the Defense, "I told you from the beginning that I had a girlfriend." I said "Yes, you did however your story and hers about the length of your relationship don't match up."

I told him that I wasn't mad, just a bit confused and that I need more information about him and Leilani and we also need to discuss what's going on between us before things get any more involved. He agreed and said that he does need to explain his relationship with Leilani, he really hadn't told me the whole story. And then he asked "Are WE ok?" Are things COOL with US?" I told him things are ok, but we definitely need to TALK. He agreed and told me he would call me later.

So here I am again STEWING, not knowing all of the details just bits and pieces. I don't know what I want to do. I honestly didn't think that I would develop the feelings for him that I have. DAMN him for making me fall for him!!! He calls me every day, says all of the right things, everything that I want to hear from a guy that I'm dating but....HE'S UNAVAILABLE!!! This is KILLING me not knowing what he has told Leilani about me. Obviously she knows about me, and he doesn't seem to want to break things off with me. But it also seems like he isn't breaking things off with her!!!

I just might go INSANE today!!! This absolutely SUCKS!!!!! Why did I get involved with him????

Still Freaking Out

DD

Un-nerving E-mail

2005-06-15T16:17:00.000-07:00

I got a VERY un-nerving e-mail today from the Super Intendants Girlfriend. Yes, I knew he had a girlfriend when we met, he said that they have been together for about 9 months. They have been friends for many years. He was good friends with her and her Ex husband and when they got a divorce, he helped her get on her feet and find a place for her and her kids to live and they got close. But he told me that he doesn't want to be tied down and she knows that. So I took their relationship to be one of convenience and not that serious, especially since he's been chasing after me. He has called me everyday for the past 2 weeks.

I haven't asked about the girlfriend since the first weekend that we hung out, I figured I wouldn't worry about it until things got more serious between us. I must admit that I have been wanting to say something to him since this past weekend. We spent all day Saturday and Sunday morning together again, and had a GREAT time. I can feel myself falling for him more and more and it's scary.

So this morning when I get into work I have an e-mail from his girlfriend:

ShibaDiva,
My name is Leilani, I am The Super's girlfriend. We have been together
steady for 3 yrs. on and off for 10. I thought I would know what to say
but I don't. Know that I love him deeply.

Leilani

HOLY CRAP!!! So, first I'm thinking..."How in the hell did she get my e-mail?" Then I'm wondering..."How does she know my last name?" I'm guessing that the Super has told her about me and maybe broke things off???? Or possibly she found one of my e-mails to him, but I don't know how that could've happened, I only e-mail him at work. Then I realize, her story does not match up to his story, dating on and off for 10 years??? That would mean that they were having an affair while they were both married to other people! Now, I don't know what the truth is. The worst part about all of this, I can't ask the Super about it today b/c he is with his family at his son's graduation all day today!!! I left him a v-mail this morning at 8:15am that just said call me when you have a chance, it's important. No call back. But I don't expect to hear from him today. This has been eating away at me ALL FREAKING DAY!!! I need more information!!! Should I be worried that this Leilani chick knows where I work???? "F!"

What the hell am I doing????????? Why did I have to fall for the guy with MAJOR baggage?????

Freaked Out,

DD

Feast or Famine ... ALWAYS!!

2005-06-10T10:12:00.000-07:00

So I've figured out that what I need to get a date is to already have a date scheduled. I started dating the Surfer about a month ago, and things were going well. We have a good time together. Well, a week after our first date I went up to our Corporate Office for a week of training and ended up hooking up with the Super Intendant and we've been dating ever since. So I have been juggling. So far it's been easy due to all of our schedules I've never had to choose between the two, I just make plans and it has worked out. Well, this week and next week are TOTALLY booked up for me between working at the Bucks, Family commitments, plans with Friends and dates with either the Surfer or the Super Intendant, I literally have plans for the next 10 days solid! I'm try to schedule a hair cut for next week and I think I'm going to have to go on one of my lunch breaks b/c every evening is booked up!

On top of all of that, a guy that I had been chatting with on Match back in November has resurfaced and wants to meet. I really like him, and would like to meet him. If anything I think we could be friends. We actually went to the same High School, he graduated a year after me. But I just don't think I can add a 3rd guy to the mix, even if we just end up being friends.

Why is it ALWAYS Feast or Famine with men for me????

I also feel like I may need to make a decision between the Surfer and the Super in the near future. Especially since things have become VERY physical with the Super. The Surfer and I have only kissed. I guess I'll have to see how things go with the Surfer the next time I see him, which I think will be on Tuesday. But before then, I have a date with the Super tomorrow which I am VERY excited about. I don't know what we are going to do yet, but I know there will be bedroom fun to look forward to! We can't keep our hands off of eachother!

Well, I'm off for the weekend. I'll have a full weekend report on Monday.

Over n Out,

DD

My Heart Skipped a Beat

2005-06-07T13:17:00.000-07:00

I had such a GREAT weekend! Saturday afternoon the Super Intendant got to my place around 4:30 pm and we decided to go see a movie and then get some dinner. We went and saw "Crash" it was a very well made movie, but NOT a happy movie. We were constantly touching eachother during the movie weather he had his arm around me, his hand on my leg or we wee holding hands, it was very nice. Everytime that man touches me it gives me goose bumps! And he says the sweetest things to, weather it's a compliment or just being agreeable and when he smiles at me, I melt.

After the movie we went to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner, my 2nd time there this week, good thing I LOVE the food there! We had a great conversation, we talked more about his past relationships, marriage and his kids and he learned more about my past as well. He has worked so hard to get where he is today, I admire him so much. He's such a genuine guy. He made me realize something about myself, I tend to talk behind peoples back a bit, I don't mean to be catty, but I guess I am at times. The Super never says a bad thing about anyone. I also noticed that he uses very little foul language, no F-Bombs, hardly ever even says "Crap". All very refreshing, but made me realize anytime I used harsh words.

After dinner we went back to my place and had a couple of beers and listened to DMB and chatted some more after about an hour we went to my bedroom. We spent a good 20 minutes just making out, and he would say the sweetest things to me, he's very complimentary and affectionate, he made me feel soo sexy and the butterflies were getting stronger in my stomach. Soon all of our clothes were off and he went down on me for what had to be at least 20 mins, I couldn't cum, I had too much to drink, I wasn't drunk but more then 2 drinks interferes with my ability to cum...I'm not sure why. I then returned the favor to him and then we had sex. I swear my heart skipped a beat as I looked into his eyes as I straddled him with both of our hands linked by our fingers, our breathing was in perfect rhythm with eachother as well as our thrusts, I could feel my orgasm building up inside me I was almost there but I just couldn't climax. That aside, it was still the most intimate I had been with a man since my "Ex" and it felt AMAZING!

After he came, we laid in eachothers arms and snuggled and talked for awhile and then fell asleep. Our bodies were touching all night and I woke up to him spooning me with his arm wrapped around me. I rolled over and gave him a kiss, he kissed me back and our tongues glided together and then he rolled me completely over so he was on top of me and went down on me and told he wasn't going to leave until I came. It took a little while but cum I did. It was incredible. After that we had sex again and cuddled some more. Two hours after we had awoke, we got up and showered and went to breakfast, we were STARVED!

After breakfast we watched a little bit of NASCAR at my place and then we said our good byes. He called me later Sunday night and told me that he had a Great weekend and couldn't stop smiling. ;-) We've talked everyday since. Things feel so good with him but I have no idea what's going to happen. We are at totally different places in our lives. I'm trying not to over think the situation and just have fun, but I feel myself falling for him...BIG TIME. I want to follow my heart NOT my head. Which is smarter? In my last relationship I followed my head, not my heart and I was miserable in that relationship, I stayed in it for security not love. This is a new feeling for me. I just hope I don't get hurt.

Over n Out,

DD

When did my life become so hectic???

2005-06-03T16:18:00.000-07:00

My gosh have I been BUSY!!! Work has been SUPER crazy lately!!! No time to Blog! I've been putting in overtime and I still have work up to my eyeballs!! And, I've been working at the Bucks 2-3 days a week again.

Well, last weekend was pretty fun. I relaxed on Friday by the pool at my parents and got a HORRIBLE Sunburn! I was trying to "fix" the Farmers Burn I got the weekend before at the Softball game. I thought I was so smart by putting sunblock "ONLY" on the areas that were burned the week before. Ummmm.... didn't quite work out. I somehow overlapped a little on my arms so now not only do I still have a faint Farmers tan, there is a line on both of my upper arms that is completely WHITE!! And, I must have touched my chest with lotion on my hand b/c there are a few splotches that are WHITE! And, the front of me is WAY REDDER then the back side. DAMN SEXY folks! Needless to say, I was NOT sporting a Bikini at the pool party on Sunday.

Friday night I went out with The Surfer. We met up at the same place as we did for our first date. We had a good time, had a few cocktails and split a pizza followed by another make-out session in the parking-lot at my car. I had a good time, but it seemed we had less to talk about this time. Hmmmmm

Saturday was the Family Festivities with all of my Dad's side of the family, I'm just glad I got through it. I love my Family but can only take them in small doses.

Then Sunday was the BIG B'day Bash in the IE! There was a pretty good turn out. About 30 people made the hour long drive out o my friends place. At least the weather was nice. Everyone was in the spa at point or another during the afternoon and evening. I of course did not want to strip down to my suit until the sun went down. I didn't want to draw attention to my F'ed Up Sunburn. So, after a few others got thrown in the pool, my friend Will thought it was my turn, so in I went...fully clothed and holding a beer. At least I took him in with me. ;-) I knew it would happen eventually. At least I didn't get my top pulled off as I went in like my friend Shelli. When she pushed her boyfriend in he grabbed her by the shirt and some how it went over her head and she was top-less, so in she went! It was pretty funny. ;-) Overall a very good time. Monday was spent relaxing and recovering from the party.

This past Wednesday night the Surfer and I had our 3rd date. He actually picked me up this time! We went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner and then walked around the mall until it closed, then he took me home. Once we got inside my place he said he needed to get going since he had to get up early for a Surf Competition. He gave me a hug and a quick kiss and said "I'm not going to get all Hot n Heavy tonight, I need to go." Ummmmm.....okaaayyyy. A little odd. I'm starting to feel like things aren't going anywhere with the Surfer, really nice guy but the chemistry is a bit off.

Now, on to Guy #2 the Super Intendant. We've been chatting here and there over the past couple of weeks. He had his kids last weekend so we couldn't get together, but we have plans for tomorrow. I'm very excited to see him. Now the Super and I have A LOT OF CHEMISTRY!! He gives me butterflies. I feel like a giddy High School girl when I talk to him and when he looks at me and smiles, I blush. ;-p I'm really looking forward to seeing him again!!!

Well, it's just about time to get out of here. Hopfully I'll have some good stuff to report next week after my date with the Super Intendant!!

Over n Out,

DD

It's Official....I'm "30"

2005-05-26T08:58:00.000-07:00

I must say that so far....30 has been good to me. ;-) Everyone at work has been sending me Birthday wishes and many of my friends have sent me Birthday e-mails. I can't help but wonder though if either of the guys that I am dating will give me a Birthday call. The Super Intendant that I hooked up with last week called yesterday and we chatted a bit, but no birthday wishes from him. I did get an e-mail wishing me a Happy 30th yesterday from the Surfer, but I'm hoping he calls today. OH, I got a VERY unexpected call from LG last night! He was actually calling in response to an e-mail I sent him this past weekend. We share a Love for Dave Matthews Band and I was e-mailing him asking what he thought of the new album and if he got concert tickets for this August etc. etc. He said he had been meaning to e-mail me back but has been really busy with stuff for his condo that he just closed Escrow on, so he decided to give me a call instead. I was pleasantly surprised. We had a nice little chat and caught up with eachother. It looks like we really might K.I.T. and be friends. ;-)

So, my Birthday festivities begin tonight at 6 pm, dinner with the fam. Then I'm heading up to HB to go out with the girls. I took tomorrow off of work so I can party hardy tonight and sleep in in the morning. ;-) Then, Sunday my friends are having a big BBQ for Memorial Day/ My 30th B'day, looking forward to that!

I hope you all have a Great Memorial Day weekend!!

Over n Out,

DD

Not Even the Gym is Safe Anymore!!

2005-05-24T10:22:00.000-07:00

I thought that I was FINALLY rid of my "EX" a few months ago. The last I had herd from him was over the Holidays he dropped me an e-mailing wishing me well. I politely responded that I hope he has a good holiday as well. Then for 4 months I herd Nothing from him, I thought I was finally rid of him. I was wrong. Last month he e-mailed me a about a position that we had open in my office and asked if I thought that one of his employee's wives was qualified for the position. WTF??? No, hello, how are you just"I hear you are looking for a Designer in your office, do you think "wife" of my employee would be qualified? Again, I was polite and asked him to forward her resume to me and I would put in a good word for her with my boss. She wasn't qualified, Thank God! That's the last thing I need is a constant reminder of my past in the office eveyday!

So a month goes by with no word from the ex until yesterday. I get an e-mail..

Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I know it's this week. Hope all is well :)
Take Care,
The EX

Ok, I guess it was nice of him to remember, but I just wish he would go away already!!! He frickin left me for another woman and she LIVES with him now!!

So, last night I'm at the gym, on the treadmill running like the wind and what do I see in the reflection of the mirror in front of me???? The EX and the Bitch he left me for!!! I just about had a heart attack!!! WTF????? He didn't even belong to 24 hr Fitness before??? So now I have to worry about running into those two every time I go to the Gym... G-R-E-A-T-! That's just FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!!!

I thought I was stealth and got out of there undetected by the EX, this morning I get an e-mail....

Hey , I saw you at the gym last night at 24 hour fitness. We started working out there at Aliso Creek because it's closer.I was on the bike and you were across the room, but you never looked over . I think you were on your way out of there!

I guess he didn't notice how fast I was walking and that I was looking straight ahead to avoid any eye contact!

Man.....this really bites. I guess I need to find a new gym.....

Over n Out,

DD

Let's Catch Up...

2005-05-23T13:50:00.000-07:00

Has it really been almost 2 weeks since I've made a Blog entry??? GEEEZ! What is with me??? Well, I was out of town and w/out a computer for most of last week and the week before that was pretty dull I guess.

My dating life has taken an interesting turn. I really haven't been doing much with Match for the past few weeks. Since I met the Surfer, I haven't done any prospecting. I decided I wanted to see where things would go with him. Well, we had to put things on hold due to him having a very hectic schedule the week after we met and then he went to Baja for 9 days. He got back yesterday, and he sent me an e-mail. He wants to get together this week some time to catch-up. Hopfully we can find a day that works for both of us. My B'day is on Thursday and I'm pretty booked from Thursday - Sunday, fesivities and all. ;-)

So...I have some other news. Last week while I was away up at our corporate office the three ladies I was up with and I got invited to dinner with the owner of one of our GC's and his 2 Super Intendants who are working on our Corporate Office Expansion. We went to a very cool little Bar/Lounge just down the street from the hotel we were staying at. The ladies and I got there about an hour before the guys and had a couple of martini's. Once the guys showed up the Martini's were flowing ALL NIGHT! Including a few shots. Around 8:30 there was a live band that set up and we all got up and danced to the "Top 40" cover songs that the singer was belting out. A great time was had by all.

So, one of the Super Intendants and I apparently had been crushing on eachother for the past year but neither one of us ever made a move until last Thursday night. Get a few drinks in ya and the TRUTH comes OUT! We were flirting with eachother for the second part of the evening and I'm not sure how it happened but I ended up sitting on his lap and making out with him! In front of my co-workers and HIS boss! This was VERY unlike me! I invited him back to my hotel with me since he couldn't drive. We took a shower together and then rolled around with eachother on the bed for awhile. I had NO intention of sleeping w/ him. I did however let him go down on me and HOLY-MOLY, that man has TALENT! It was the BEST head I've ever received! That's one major perk of being with an older man, he definitely knew what he was doing. He's 43.

Friday morning I woke up witth one MOTHER of a hang over. I sluggishly got into the shower and dressed and got my bag packed. He was up and perky. How can guys do that? Drink themselves silly and be FINE the next day? He rode back to the office with us...a bit awkward for me, but I don't think anyone saw. He asked for my phone number and told me to stop by before we left.

Come 12 noon, we were out of there! My hang over was staring to wear off, now I was just tired....On the way home I checked my v-mail and he had called. I gave him a call back when I got home, we chatted for about an hour on the phone. He's very open, he basically gave me his whole life story. He invited me to come watch his Softball tournament on Sat down in HB. So, I went. I got an awesome Farmers Tan! Stupid me forgot to pack suntan lotion or bring a hat.....AWESOME! After his game, I went with him and some of his team mates to get some grub and beers. After that he asked me if I'd like to take a walk on the beach...sure! So we went to Newport and walked and talked and watched the sunset. It was a very unexpected nice day. He then took me back to my car and we shared a few smooches and went our separate ways. He said he would call me yesterday...but never did. O'well. Who knows what will happen, I'm not putting much stock into it. We had fun but there really isn't much of a chance for us to have anything substancial. He's been married twice and does not want to marry again, he also has two grown teenage kids, can't have any more so...if anything, he's just someone to have fun with.

I still have my sights set on The Surfer anyway. ;-)

Let's hope this is a good week! I'll be officially old on Thursday!!!

Over n Out,

DD

What is up with Men on Match.com????

2005-05-11T13:14:00.000-07:00

I would just like to share with you some of the ever so "Thoughtful" and "Articulate" e-mails that I have received from guys on Match.com just in this past month. There have been other "winners" out there before these but this month I seem to be attracting the the True Ladies Men!

Bachelor #1: "you look really good"

Bachelor#2: "well Dave Matthews lover.........those lips are made for kissing.....and thats just what they'll do.....one of these days my lips are gonna......be planted all over...... you :) "

Bachelor#3: "hey, how is it going? its hard to believe someone pretty like you is single. its like the best parking spot is always taken. anyways, wanted to know if you wanna be friends?"

Bachelor#4: "Girl, I have some confessions to make. Brace yourself, I want to LIE!! I want to LIE in bad next to you and feel your warm body against mine. I want to CHEAT!! I want to break all the rules and give you one the hottest, steamiest lifes you ever think of having. I want to STEAL!! I want to STEAL your heart and soul and make it a thrill to come home to the kids and me. And at last, I want a DIVORCE!! I want to DIVORCE life and leave all the bull behind me and focus on the kids and us. And the life that we will begin, I hope that each day is fun and bless by GOD. "

*Yes, Bachelor#4 was a "Brother"...they LOVE me for some reason.....

Bachelor#5: "I would like to coat my balls and cock with vaseline and go at it with you. When should we hook up!?!? "

Ummmm.....Bachelor #5 takes the cake for the MOST crass e-mail ever sent to me on Match.

So tell me, do these guys REALLY think that I'm going to respond to this??? Or is it just to be funny in their minds?? I personally wouldn't spend $25.00 a month and take the time to write these kinds of e-mails to strangers just for shits 'n giggles! GROW UP people!!!

That's all for now folks...

DD

The Surfer Date

2005-05-08T11:10:00.000-07:00

Last night the Surfer and I finally got together for drinks. I was very pleased with his appearance, he's tall and very handsome. I have a certain weakness when it comes to tall men ;-p We grabbed a table on the patio and ordered some wine. The conversation flowed very nicely. It was the typical first date conversation, we were interviewing eachother on where we grew up where we like to hang out, touched a little on past relationships. He told me about his ex. He was married briefly 5 years ago for about 6 months. They had dated for three years before they got married, she just freaked out after they got married, she was too young and wasn't ready to be settled. I gave him the short version of why my ex of three years broke up. Our stories were similar, except that he was married and my ex and I just lived together.

We talked for 4 hours, about 2 hours in a guy with a guitar set-up and started singing, he was about 6 feet away from us. We laughed at how old we felt sitting across from eachother straining to hear what the other was saying. The guy singing was pretty good though, sang some decent songs. The evening went really well. Somewhere around 12:15 am we decided to call it a night. He walked me to my car where we hugged and chatted a bit and then said our Thankyou's and it was good to meet you's and he gave me a little kiss on the lips. I smiled at him and we hugged again and chatted a little more. As he started to say good night and walk away I asked for another kiss, this time it was a bit heated. ;-) He's a very good kisser, it felt really nice to be in his strong embrace. I was a bit weak in the knees, I love looking up into a mans eyes. He's leaving for a trip to Baja next week so I jokingly told him that that should give him something to think about while he's in Baja. He smiled and said it definitely would ;-)

We both have busy weeks coming up and next Saturday morning he leaves for Baja for a week. We're going to try to get together sometime this next week before he leaves but it's not going to be easy with our schedules. But it was nice to hear him wanting to fit me into his hectic schedule next week. ;-) We'll see what happens...

I plan on playing it cool this time around. He's definitely into me and things felt awesome last night. He said he'd call me today so hopfully he does, if not...I will NOT call him. I'll wait for him to make the next move.

That's all for now....

DD

A Date Tomorrow.......

2005-05-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

The Surfer and I have been e-mailing here and there this week and he called me on Wednesday to tell me that he didn't think he could get together until next week sometime. I told him no problem, I'll let him know my schedule by today. Well, last night when I got home from the Bucks there was an e-mail from him. He's pretty booked up all of next week between Softball and his Marine Ecology trip to Baja so he wanted to know if I'm free this Saturday night. He said he understands that Saturday night is a BIG date night and if there is too much pressure put on the first meeting on a Saturday he understands if I'm not comfortable with it. But I responded to him that Saturday night actually works good for me and to stop being silly, there's not too much pressure being a Saturday night. ;-) If things don't go well I can always come down with a migrane ;-p j/k!

So now I'm just waiting to hear back from him to confirm for tomorrow. I have a good feeling about this guy. He seems to have a good sense of humor and is good with people, he's a High School teacher for god's sake, he'd better be a people person! Physically he's exactly my "type" he's tall 6'2 well built and maybe just a few extra lbs, which I LOVE!!!! If a guy is too well built/defined physically it makes me self conscious about myself. He has dark wavy hair, cut short, hazel eyes and a great smile! So hopfully we "click" when we meet.

So cross your fingers for me that tomorrow works out and things go well with the Surfer!!! ;-p

Over n Out

DD

Match.com Update

2005-04-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

About 2 or 3 weeks after I started dating LG, my subscription to Match ran out and I decided not to renew and see where things went with LG. Around the same time I started talking to LG I had also been e-mailing with another guy on Match (Let's call him The Surfer), I may have mentioned him briefly in an old Blog entry, he's 32, lives near me, we have quite a bit in common, the only thing that I saw as a negative was that he's Divorced. He told me that the marriage was very short lived, basically his ex wasn't ready for marriage, she was younger then him and not ready for that step. No kids and things ended without any ugliness. So, I was willing to give it a shot with him, unfortunately I never got his personal e-mail so when I canceled Match, I couldn't communicate with him. In his last e-mail to me he suggested that we meet for a drink sometime, I never responded. I felt bad. So I joined Match again last week and sent him an apology for disappearing and explained why I disappeared and that I hope he can forgive me and maybe we could pick-up where we left off. Here was his response:

Hey there,
No worries about disappearing. I understand. Sorry to hear about the bummer of a trip to NYC. I just got back from a week of surfing in Hawaii. It is so wonderful there, and it was hard to have to come back to work today! I actually started seeing someone about that same time too and it has just about run its course. We get along ok and have stuff in common, but like you said, something is missing. We are both kind of sensing it and we both kinda feel that we need to talk about it but have only just touched on it a little. Know what I mean??? We are just kinda hanging out, but at least I have the feeling it has run its course. It hasnt been anything too serious...seeing each other once a week or maybe twice and thats it. So anyway...I guess you could say I am technically "seeing someone". But...I was glad to read your note. It sounds like you just got out of kinda the same thing. I would definitely be interested in chatting with you more in the future, but I need to take care of this first. I am not the type of person that hangs onto a Relationship just for the sake of being in one, nor do I like to just jump ship into something else right away.I am glad you are back on and dropped me a line. Lets chat some more and maybe in a couple weeks we can get together...if you are still single!! Don't worry...I forgive you!!!! Talk to you soon, The Surfer

Funny how we were both in similar dating situations, only he's still in his. Yesterday I talked about my thoughts on the saying "Everything Happens for a Reason" now here's another one to think about "Timing is Everything". It really is, isn't it? I swear, there have just been too many incidents in my life where timing WAS everything in a situation. For an example, in my dating life it seems to either be "Feast or Famine" for me. I'm either TOTALLY single or I have 2-3 potential men on the horizon. When I'm LOOKING for a guy, I can't even get the slightest bit of attention from a guy, then when I relax and just go about my business, they start popping up everywhere.

What do you think this coincidence with the Surfer and I being in the same place in our dating lives is all about? Hmmmm, makes me wonder. I hope to hear from him soon, he seems like a really great guy and I hope we can pick-up where we left off once he is available again. ;-)

Over n Out,

DD

Does Everything Really Happen for a Reason?

2005-04-19T15:59:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been giving a lot of thought to the saying "Everything happens for a reason." For the most part I'm a believer in this saying, it's right up along with "That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Afterall it is true that we learn from our mistakes, right? Or at least we hope that we will.

I think that in life we have to experience certain things before we can get it right. We have to have our up's and downs and our Fuck-up's so we can truly appreciate when something good happens or when we are truly happy in life. For example, a little over 4 years ago I was living alone in HB, my best friend had just moved to Northern Ca and it seemed at the time that the majority of my friends were in relationships for the first time in several years. I was 25 at the time and had really enjoyed being single for my early 20's. But at this time I found myself to be one of the few singletons, and some of my friends were starting to have babies as well. I started to feel really lonely and like I was behind on the falling in love and getting married and having a family thing so, I posted a profile on Love@aol. This was before they merged with Match.com. After about a month of responses that I wasn't interested in I was ready to take my profile off when I got an e-mail from a familiar face. It was a guy that I had chatted with a couple of years before. He claimed that he didn't remember me, but I remembered him b/c of his job, it was very unusual. Anyway, we IM'ed for about 3 hours one night and then talked on the phone the next night for about another 3 hours. About 2 weeks later we met.

A little more background, I didn't find him all that physically attractive in his photos, but his work and eagerness to get to know me better kept me interested. So when he picked me up for our first date I was a bit surprised at his height, he said he was 5'8, he was more like 5'6. After I got home that night I pretty much decided that I wasn't interested. He called me a couple days later and asked me out again, I agreed to go on a second date, and athird and so on. Even as time went on and we got to know eachother better, I never felt that "spark" that you should when you're first dating someone. Our relationship basically kept going b/c he pursued it and he treated me better then I had ever been treated, he made me feel special.

Four months into the relationship he asked me to move in with him, I declined, I was NOT ready to live with him. Five months later, I changed my mind......... BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE! Shortly after moving in with him he became very controlling of every aspect of my life. He called me several times a day to "check in" wanted to know everything I ate, he wanted me to lose weight, I lost 20lbs that first year we lived together BTW, and he monitored every dime I spent and gave me a hard time any time I bought something for myself. I felt trapped, I felt like I was stuck with him. The last 2 years of our relationship were BAD, as time went on the worse it got, I actually felt hatred towards him, not good when this is supposedly the man you want to marry? What was I thinking?! I was in such a fog, I had completely lost myself in this relationship, I relied on him for so much, too much. The day he broke things off with me was both the worst day of my life and the best day of my life. It was the worst b/c my whole life as I knew it had been turned upside down. It was the best b/c I had to put my life back in order after. And when I did, I remembered who I was and what was important to me in life. See, what didn't kill me, made me stronger. And, I will NEVER settle for a half assed relationship, if the magic isn't there, I'm moving on. And I have a whole new appreciation for single life in my late 20's, soon to be 30. I am totally comfortable with where I am in life. I would like to meet someone special, but I also know that it will happen when it is supposed to happen. I've met some very cool, guys this past year and I've learned something about myself from each of them, I wouldn't change a thing that's happened this past year. I'm actually looking forward to turning 30 next month. A few weeks ago it was a soar subject. But after some reflecting, I feel much different. I feel better, more positive in general. It's good. ;-)

That's just one example of Everything happening for a reason in my life, and I'm sure there were many experiences that I had as a result of that relationship with my ex. I had never lived with a boyfriend before, I learned that I don't want to do that EVER again. The list could go on and on I'm sure.

So how do you all feel about this? Does everything happen for areason? Tell me your thoughts...

Over n Out,

DD

It feels good to be bad.. ;-p

2005-04-18T14:57:00.000-07:00

Has it really been a week since I've posted on my Blog? WOW, where does the time go. Last week was pretty mellow, not much to Blog about. But this weekend does have some Blog worthy material. ;-)

Yesterday I went to Bel Mont Shores to a friends house for Brunch. My girl posse and I all headed up there around 11 am. It was fun, great food and saw some people I hadn't seen for awhile. Around 3 pm we headed back down towards HB and went to the ShoreHouse for some beers. Remember [b]? We've been talking since January but have only actually gone out once, well we talked last Sunday and made tenative plans for yesterday. He told me last Sunday that he would give me a call around Wed. to touch base, he never called. I figured we were off, but I had just enough Champange and beer yesterday that I had no fear, I gave him a call. I knew he was working at the time, he had a shoot down at the beach. So I just said "hey, it's me about 7 pm I'm heading home and just wanted to see if you still wanted to get together after your shoot. Give me a call." I didn't expect to hear from him but at 7:45 pm my cell rang, it was him. Yes, he still wanted to get together. He invited me to come over, I had been wanting to see his work and his photos from his trip to Africa. I got over there a little before 9 pm. Now, I realize that I was setting myself up to be seduced, and by doing this I'm pretty much ruining any chance of a relationship with [b]. Honestly, there is like NO chance a relationship could ever work w/ [b] b/c he is a WORK-O-HOLIC! So, I'm totally up for whatever happens at his place, I have fun with him and the chemistry is UNREAL! I knew sex would be awesome with him just by the way we kissed on our last date and the way we talk to each other. So here's how everything played out....

I pull up to his house, he opens the front door and the front room is lit only by candles and it smells GREAT inside. (Scented candles, very metro of him, but I LOVED it!) He showed me around downstairs, made me a cocktail and then we sat down and he showed me the slide show of his Africa trip, amazing! He is SOOOO talented! We chatted and cuddled on the couch for a bit and then he took me upstairs for that tour. I love his place, it's decorated all in Z Gallery and he has his working hanging everywhere. We ended the tour in his bedroom, of course. He sat at his computer station and I sat on his bed across from him and chtted for a bit until he joined me on the bed.

He threw his back out 2 weeks ago and is still recovering ever so slightly so he worked that angle to get a back rub out of me. I called him out on what he was doing, but I gladly played along. He took his shirt off and told me to take off mine as well, so I did. After a few mins of the back rub he rolled over and pulled me down until our lips met, we made out and joked around with eachother, soon we were naked and exploring every inch of eachothers bodies. We told eachother what felt good and what we wanted one another to do, it was fun and felt amazing. It's so great when you have good communication between eachother. We ended up having sex 3 times and it was better and better, I was sooooo close to an O, but it didn't happen. Next time, for sure. ;-) We showered together after, always fun.

He talked several times about seeing eachother again, and next time he'll take me on a REAL date, come and pick me up and take me to a nice dinner. ;-) We'll see. If anything, I'm having fun, he's awesome!

I must go into a meeting now, I have more to write later.

DD

April 10th = BAD LOVE DAY

2005-04-11T13:42:00.000-07:00

Gosh, it's been awhile since I've blogged. Last week was such a busy week and I was still fighting off the cold from HELL! Well, I'm about 95% better now, Thank God! I actually made it to the gym on Saturday and did my FIRM work out yesterday, it felt GREAT! I'm HIGHLY motivated to get this extra 15 lbs off of me that I've somehow put on this past year. I was looking at my pics from NYC and I couldn't believe how much I've let myself go, I looked BAAAAD.

So, last week was Shelli's 30th B'day on Wednesday, got together with the chicks and Shelli's boyfriend for a wonderful dinner, a night of gluttony. And then Friday was Monica's 29th B'day and we celebrated at her place with another night of gluttony. The food was wonderful, but I can't do it anymore! Saturday was day one of my new diet and exercise program. It's starting to get warmer and the days are longer, I want to look good in my shorts and bikini this summer, I've got a lot progress to make!

April 10th = BAD LOVE DAY for Miss ShibaDiva:
Last April 10th, 2004 which was the day before Easter last year, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me and I moved back in with my parents. This year on April 10th, LG the guy I have been dating for about 2 months broke things off with me. You all knew LG, the guy I was chasing around and obsessing about the past 2 months, sadly it's over. I can't say I didn't see it coming, shit, we all did. Honestly, I'm not that upset about things not working out with LG, it's more the fact that it's another failed relationship. He was a great guy. I felt from about the 4th date that there was a certain element missing. I couldn't put my finger on it, but as time went by I knew he noticed it too, I think we both liked eachother so much that we wanted it to work out and progress into something, it just didn't. Last night he called, we were supposed to do something only after saying our hellos and how has your weekend been he said "You know, I have to be honest with you, I don't have time for a relationship right now, and you're such a great person, you deserve better." I responded with "Are you sure you didn't just lose interest?" "Because I've noticed a change over the past month in the frequency of your calls and you don't tell me how much fun you had anymore when we go out, where as in the first few weeks of dating you did." He agreed, he had lost interest, it's just that he had lost that certain feeling that you have for someone when you are willing to reorganize all of your plans just to see that special someone, he no longer felt that for me. I told him I was feeling the same way, which was true. I just liked him so much that I was hoping things would improve down the line. We ended things on a positive note, we said we want to KIT and be friends, but I'm sure I'll never hear from him again. But I have no bad feeling about it, he's a great guy and I'm glad we met and spent the time we did together. I just couldn't believe the uncanny timing....same day I got dumped last year. I cried in my pillow most f the night, wondering when I'll find Mr. Right, I was feeling very lonely last night.

Today, I am feeling better. I'm back on Match. I winked at few guys, we'll see if I get any feed back. Let's see if I can actually follow some of the advise that I get from my readers here with the next guy I date. ;-p

I must get back to work, Mondays are always so BUSY!

Over n Out,

DD

Waiting and waiting....

2005-03-16T09:52:00.000-08:00

So after much advise from several people here on my blog and from friends, I am waiting for the guys to call me. I'm not initiating anything w/ LG or [b]. Here's how the week has gone.....

Monday night I worked at the Bucks, got off at 9 pm instead of the norm 10:15 pm. I had 2 messages on my cell. The first was from LG "Hey, I'm just on my way home, you're probably working, I'm going to head to the gym and I'll give ya a call around 10:20ish. Talk to ya later." The second call was from [b] "Hey, it's [b] just wanted to see how your weekend was, you're probably at work, give me a call when you get home, hopfully we can set something up to see eachother again soon. Take Care."

Who did I call back 1st? [b] We chatted for a bit, he told me he had a great time w/ me last week and can't wait to see me again, what does my week look like? Well between both of our schedules, it looks like we will have to wait until early April to get together again. [b] is going to Vegas March 20th - 25th and I leave for NY March 26th and get back on April 2nd. And we were both too busy this week, so we must wait.

Next I called back LG. We caught up with eachother, he asked how my week looks, I told him I'm working Tues and going out w/ the girls on St. Patty's Day. I asked if he was going out for St. Patty's, he said probably not. We talked a bit longer and then he said he would call me tomorrow, have a good night. We made NO plans..... and no call last night..... WHATEVER!

So, it appears that I am dateless for the week. Honestly, I can't say I mind. Thursday and Friday I have plans with friends, so I'll keep busy, maybe even meet someone new... ;-p

That's all for now...

Over n Out

DD

It's starting to creep back in...DOUBT.

2005-03-13T11:51:00.000-08:00

Friday afternoon when I hadn't herd from the Lighting Guy since Wednesday, I started to wonder if we were still on for that night. We hadn't talked about what we were doing, just that we would do something. So, I called him. He was having a BAD day, he wasn't sure what time he would get home from work. I suggested SUSHI, he said that sounded good, he would come down to me. He said he would call me later to let me know what time he'd be down. Ok, I HATE not having a time frame in mind, it drives me NUTS! So at 6:15 pm I called him "How is the drive going?' LG "Oh, I'm home now. I'll be heading down to your place soon, see ya in about an hour.

He gets to my place at 7:30, we go to SUSHI had a good time but something seemed a bit off. I can't really put my finger on it...just off. After dinner we decide to go back to my place and watch "The Grudge". I sat down on the couch next to him and he put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him, we laid like that through the whole movie. After the movie we kissed on the couch then took it into the bedroom. We have this great chemistry together, I get so hot and excited when I'm with him. This time I took control, after some oral......no "O" for me.... I decide dammit, I want to have an "O" tonight! So, I got on top. It was great, we were moving together nicely, I could feel the build up inside of me and just when I was starting to get close....he came. No warning, he just cums...and just stops...he doesn't let out a sigh...grunt..nothing, it just stops. He smiles and says "That felt sooo good".......HUH??? This was our 3rd time together and not once has he seemed at all concerned about me having an "O". Is he aware of my lack of an "O"? I mean he never asks if I have one...WTF?

So, we lay there and cuddle and chat a bit. I told him he's welcome to stay the night but, I have to get up at 5:30 am for work at the Bucks. He said that's cool, he needs to meet his buddies at the beach by 7 am to go surfing...so he stayed the night.

Now the good thing about the 3 times that we have had sex is we always stay the night together, but then the mornings are a little...well... Awkward. Yesterday morning I got up, got ready and then woke up LG. He got up, got dressed and walk out with me, gave me a hug & kiss on the cheek and told me to have fun at work. I told him to have a good day surfing and to call me later, he said ok and off he went. I called him at 6:30 pm on my to a party just to check in, I got his v-mail, FRUSTRATING! I left a casual message, just calling to see how your day was, I know you have a family thing tomorrow, hope you have a good day, call me when you have a chance, bye.

Soooo....now it's starting to creep back in, DOUBT. I know it's only Sunday morning and I probably won't hear from LG until tomorrow but I'm starting to wonder what he's feeling. Last week just seemed off from the first couple of weeks of dating. The first 4 dates, he would always make plans for the next date before saying good bye or at least say "I;ll call you tomorrow, or you call me tomorrow". Now it's just "Talk to ya later." Is this just b/c he has a certain sense of confidence that we will talk soon or see eachother soon? Or is he starting to lose interest? As of right now we haven't made any future plans to see eachother and I don't know when I'll hear from him. That's why I'm starting to freak a little again. UGHHH!!

So on another note.... I got an e-mail from Cancellation guy yesterday. Let's call him [b] from now on.

"Hey Doll, It was nice meeting you the other night. I had a super fun time! I hope you have a great weekend and maybe we can get together next week before I go to Vegas.
Xo,
[ b ]

I would love to see him again, we had a lot of fun last week. But, this week is very full for me so far. I work Mon & Tues night and Thursday is St. Paty's Day and I'm going out with the girls. So that leaves Wednesday or Friday to go out w/ [b] (Formerly Cancellation Guy) So I guess I'm making LG a second priority this week, only b/c he's more available. [b] leaves for Vegas on the 20th.

We shall see what develops over the next couple of days.....

Over n Out

DD

I've SNAPPED out of it!

2005-03-11T14:56:00.000-08:00

Ok, so on Wednesday my post was all about me freaking out over the fact that I'm really starting to like the Lighting Guy and I'm eager to know where things are going...... well...I've changed my tune. I'm a chick, I can do that ;-)

After some insight from some friends male and female I realized that it really is very early in the relationship and I just need to chill. It's the sex thing that got my emotions all riled up. So shortly after I got this advise from friends and vented in my blog, I got an e-mail from Mr. Cancellation guy. Some background....we were supposed to go out about 2 months ago and he canceled a few hours before the date due to fraudulent activity on his business account. He was completely freaking out over it, he was going to bounce several checks blah blah blah. He wanted to reschedule but he couldn't do so for about a month b/c he was traveling out of the country for 2 and half weeks blah blah blah. Well, I honestly didn't think I would ever hear from him again but about 3 weeks ago shortly after he got back from his trip he called. Just to touch base, he was busy getting material together for a week long class he was going to be teaching in San Francisco. He says we'll have to get together after he gets back.

So the e-mail says......"How spontaneous are you? I have a meeting early this evening in your neck of the woods, how would you like to meet for dinner, you choose the place. If you're available let's meet at 8 pm." Holly CRAP! I totally want to meet this guy b/c there was such a HUGE build up to the date that never happened that I've been wondering about him in the back of my head for 2 months now! But I have plans to hang with the Lighting Guy that night.....what to do. Here's what I did:
I called the Lighting Guy, got his v-mail "Hey, I just wanted to see if we were still planning on hanging out tonight. Something come up, call me when you get this." He calls back about an hour later. He's actually really wiped out from snow boarding and surfing the day before so let's just reschedule and I can tend to what suddenly came up. Can you believe he didn't even ask what came up?? He was just totally cool with rescheduling b/c he was so tired. So, we're seeing eachother tonight, Friday instead. ;-) So.... I e-mail back Cancellation guy, we're on! See ya at 8 pm!

I arrive just a couple of minutes before he did. We greeted eachother with a huge smile and a hug. We went inside and were seated at table. The conversation flowed very nicely, he's very easy to talk to. Very out-going, he's a salesman so he is very good with smoozing. He caught me up to speed on all of his travels and the one left before his life can go back to a semi normal schedule. I had a lot of fun with him, I laughed a lot and felt very confident. After dinner we went to a bar and I had one more glass of wine. He then walked me to my car and we smooched a little and said good night. He's says he hopes to see me before he leaves for Vegas on the 20th. Hmmmmm..... we'll see.

I don't know if I can juggle. I've never dated more then one person at a time. I'm still totally into the Lighting Guy but cancellation guy could be a good occasional distraction to stop me from obsessing. Up until if and when the Lighting Guy and I have "The Talk" about exclusivity.

I'm way excited about tonight, the Lighting Guy and I are going to SUSHI! I've been craving it for so long!! ;-P

Have a great weekend fellow bloggers!

DD

Freakin Nut Ball!!!!!

2005-03-09T13:46:00.000-08:00

I guess I need to get everyone caught up to speed here on me and the Lighting Guy.

So, last Saturday he went to my friends boyfriends Surprise B'day party with me. It went very well. All of my friends loved him and he seemed to have a good time. We were actually the last people to leave the party at 1:30 am. So we went back to his place and I sort of invited myself to spend the night at his place. It went like this...I was driving back to his place from the party, and he asked if I wanted to go to lunch the next day. My response was "Are you aloud to have girls over?" His response..."oh, yeah, I was actually thinking about that.." I said.. "I don't mean to invite myself..." him.. "oh, no, I was thinking about asking you to stay." So, I went in and spent the night. We had sex, cuddled and I fell asleep on my side with my back facing him and him on his side facing me with his hand on my hip, it was nice.

But then the morning came, we were woken up by his roommate making loud phone calls in the living room. Roommate did not know I was there. The Lighting Guy got up and used the restroom and came back and asked if i was hungry? Yeah, I could eat. We went to Denny's. The conversation was ok, I was a bit hung over. After breakfast we went back to his place and he walked me to his car told me what his plans for the day were and then kissed me and told me to have a good day. Off I went....

Everything sounds good up to this point, right? Well here is where I get a little obsessive and NUTS. I called the Lighting Guy later that night and got his V-mail, left a message....no call back. Monday night I was driving from one job to the next and couldn't help myself, I called him. He answers.."You beat me by 2 mins, I was just putting on my headset to call you." Hmmmm....really??? I know, I'm obsessing. So we chat, talk about our Sunday afternoons and evenings and our Monday. I ask him what he has going on this week, snowboarding on Tuesday and has "plans" on Thursday, would I like to see a movie or something on Wednesday? I respond, sure Wednesday works for me. Ok, great. Have a good night, talk to ya later.

So, now it's Wednesday afternoon and I am making myself NUTS, heres why....
I have a tendency to OVER analyze EVERYTHING. It's very annoying, I get myself all worked up usually for nothing. So, my crazy brain is thinking, why didn't he call last night? Are we still on for tonight? I need to wait for him to call, don't call him! And now, to make my insanity worse... I checked on Match.com this morning. Up until today since we started talking/dating the Lighting Guy's profile said active over 3 weeks ago. Today it says active w/in 24 hrs. Now I realize people that this could mean MANY things. But my crazy obsessive over analytical brain is wondering WHY??? Is he still prospecting for other girls? Did someone contact him that he wanted to check out? Was he just checking in just b/c or was he possibly checking to see how active I have been? It could be any of these reasons I know. Why am I so concerned??? B/c I'm starting to really like him and I don't know how he feels about me.

So why don't I just ask him how he feels or if he's dating other people etc... b/c it scares the sh*t out of me!!! I don't know what I want to hear!!! Either answer could be good or bad! If he says, I just want to keep hanging out etc. but I want to be free to date others as well. That would be fine with me except... I'm starting to really like him and I don't want to date other guys, once I sleep with someone, I'm a one man kind of woman. The other possibility he says, I'm only seeing you and I only want to see you. Ok, now there is a new pressure, it's exclusive....I could get hurt if I open up my heart to him. Am I ready to do that??? I think I am... he is a great guy, seems honest and seems like he would never lie to me or hurt me but.... I've been here before and been hurt...badly....very badly. AHHHHHHH!!!

So, here I am at work...not working at the moment, instead I'm blogging and obsessing over my potential love life. It's been almost a whole fricking year since my life was turned upside down by my ex. I should be ready to start something new...right?

Ok, help me out here peeps, especially you DD. Answer these Q's for me:

1) Am I ready to get serious with someone new?
2) Did I sleep with him too fast? (4th date, 2 weeks in)
3) Is it too soon to ask him how he feels about us, if he's dating others?
4) Did I introduce him to my close friends too soon?
5) If I don't decide to ask him how he feels about us and dating others should I back of a bit? Stop calling him, stop asking him out?
6) Am I just NUTS and should stop worrying so much???

I'm a freakin NUT ball right now I know.......

Over n out

DD

Grinning from Ear to Ear ;-)

2005-03-03T14:24:00.000-08:00

Mmmmm, last night was awesome! Even if it did get off to a late start.

The Lighting Guy called at 6 pm and told me that he would be a little late. He just got home and got a call from his brother and apparently he took his brothers keys home with him and his brother could not lock up their office. So, the Lighting Guy had to turn around and drive back 40 miles to his office. Grrr.... he ended up getting to my place at 8:30 pm. He was supposed to be there at 7 pm, but better late then never.

I made Chicken Marsala, it was my first attempt at making this dish, it came out OK. It wasn't quite Tasty enough for me, but the Lighting Guy liked it, he ate it all anyway. ;-) He brought over a bottle of wine and some dipping oil and focaccia bread that was delicious! Conversation was good as usual, we talked a little more about our friends and what their stories are. He is going to a Birthday party with me on Saturday night, well at least he says he is, we'll see.... I'm a little nervous about him meeting my friends. So I wanted to give him a little back ground on a couple of my friends.

After dinner I made some break and bake chocolate chip cookies, his favorite dessert ;-) We sat on the couch and talked for awhile longer and then we made out for a bit and then took it into the bedroom. The evening was going according to my plan ;-)

First our shirts came off, oooohh I loved the way his skin smelled and the way our bare chests felt against eachother. After some more kissing and caressing, I took his pants off...and made my way down ;-) He then took over and took my pants off and went down....and oh, he knew exactly where to go and what buttons to push. He didn't spend a long time down there, but it was nice. I wasn't going to be able to have an O anyway, I was buzzed from the wine and it usually takes me a few times to get really comfortable with a new partner. So we then proceeded to Do the Deed. It was nice..............while it lasted. Unfortunately the Lighting Guy was a bit premature in his climax. Not ridiculously quick just a bit premature. He felt bad, and was a little
embarrassed. I told him not to worry about it, no big deal, we'll just have to work on that. It was our first time together and we were really into eachother and I guess maybe I was just so HOT he couldn't help himself ;-p Honestly though, I really didn't mind, like I said before I wasn't going to have an O anyway. He told me that he usually has the opposite problem takes a LONG time to cum. We shall see if that is the case in the future.

So, it didn't live up to my greatest expectations, but it was very nice. I enjoyed everything about him sexually. We move together nicely, his scent intoxicate me and fills me with passion. Oh, just thinking about him right now makes me all warm inside ;-)

We talked for a little while after and cuddled and then fell asleep in eachothers arms. It was so nice waking up next to him this morning in my bed ;-) I could really get used to that.....

So there it is, I was able to hold out for exactly 2 weeks, til the 4th date. Not Bad.

Over n Out

DD

Why Am I Sooo Nervous???

2005-03-02T15:26:00.000-08:00

I am sooooo nervous about tonight! I'm making the Lighting Guy dinner, it has been awhile since I've cooked for anyone and of course I chose to make something that I've never made before...STUPID! But it's supposedly a very simple dish, Chicken Marsala. He's bringing the wine and some bread and dipping oil that he got at a Winery in SLO this past weekend. I'm looking forward to tonight but I'm also VERY nervous because..... I think tonight just may be THE NIGHT. I'm trying my best to seduce him with my cooking and candle lit dinner. ;-) It is my GOAL to be dessert this evening ;-p I think I've done pretty good holding out until now.... right?

I even spent $150.00 on stuff for my apt for tonight, I got new cushions to sit on while we eat at the coffee table, like Moroccan style, you know? And I got a frame for a pic I've had forever and I got some more candles, place mats and a table cloth. I'm trying my best to make a good impression tonight.

Ok, this also may be a reason why I am so nervous about the possibility of sex tonight..... it's been almost 4 months since I've had sex, the longest I've gone w/out sex in 4 years!!!! And I'm REALLY jonesing for a Mind Blowing Orgasm! My vibrator and I have been spending WAY too much time together lately! ;-p

Alright, it's almost time to go home and prep for the date. I'll have a full report tomorrow. ;-p

Over n out

DD

Got through Date #3

2005-02-28T16:27:00.000-08:00

Date #3 went very well, it was brief but good. We met at an Italian restaurant in Newport Beach. We had a great table that faced the Harbor. We were even there in time to see the sunset, very romantic. The conversation was good as usual, it got onto a bit heavier topic...past relationships. I learned that his longest relationship was one about 8 years ago that was on and off for about 2 years, they lived together off and on, he even put a deposit down on an engament ring, but realized soon after that they were starting to grow in different directions so they broke it off, they are still friends to this day. His last relationship ended in October, they only dated about 5 months, she was too controlling for him. So then he asked about my ex and if we still talk, the answer is NO. So I gave him all of the details of our break-up, he was a bit shocked. It was an ugly break-up, the ex basically left me for another woman, one of his employees, but lied to me about it, I found out by stopping by the condo and finding her cat and overnight bag in our bedroom. The Lighting Guy said "Well, I can understand why you don't want to talk to him anymore."

So, at 8 pm he had to get going, his friends were waiting for him so they could drive up to SLO, so we got our cars from valet, he paid for mine ;-) and we gave eachother a few smooches and said good night. We have plans for Wednesday night, I'm making him dinner and I hope to be dessert ;-p We'll see if my seduction works! ;-p

Over n out...

DD

The 3rd Date.....

2005-02-25T15:32:00.000-08:00

WOW, this week sure did go by fast! I wish every week were only a 4 day work week! Work has been so busy I haven't had much time to blog!

So things are moving along nicely with the Lighting Guy, we talk on the phone everyday, not long talks, just checking in with eachother pretty much. It's at this beginning stage of dating somebody where you're just not quite sure what the other person is feeling or what they want or what they mean by things that they say...do you know what I mean? It's at this stage where I get a little paranoid and over analyze everything!!! This of course means that I'm completely smitten with him, and that's why he is effecting me like this. Ahhh, the beginning of a "potential" relationship can be very exciting yet frustrating at the same time!

Well, we were originally supposed to do something on Saturday, but last night he told me that his buddies have talked him into going up to SLO for the weekend to go surfing. Apparently the waves are killer up there right man!!! So, I'm meeting him for dinner tonight right after work. It will be a short date, he is driving up to SLO at 9 pm tonight, but it's very sweet that he wanted to fit me in before he left. So this will be our 3rd date. ;-)

I'm thinking that our next date should be my treat since he has taken me out the last 3 times. I'm thinking I should take him to eat where the food is served by the best chef in town, my place. ;-) I love to cook and it has actually been forever since I've made a nice meal for someone other then myself.

Stay tuned to find out what happens....

Over n out

DD

THE BEST 1st DATE EVER!!!

2005-02-17T15:04:00.000-08:00

I'm still smiling from my date last night! Dinner with the Lighting Guy was AWESOME! We were both very relaxed and comfortable from the get go, which was so nice and a little surprising. The whole conversation over dinner just flowed so nice, it was almost too easy. It turns out that we have A LOT more in common then I thought. We have so many similar experiences and interests, it's so great! Yet, we've also had many different experiences which keeps things interesting. ;-)

So after a wonderful dinner and a great bottle of chardonnay, we went downstairs to the restaurant on the beach and sat by the fire pit and had another glass of wine. ;-) Don't worry, I didn't get drunk but I did have a great buzz. We sat there until they closed and we got booted out. So we went for a walk down the pier, we still weren't ready to end the date. ;-)

We stopped a little more then half way down the pier and leaned against the railing and talked for awhile longer and then suddenly we both stopped talking and we were just looking at eachother and he stepped forward and leaned in for a kiss. I gladly reciprocated ;-) we kissed, and kissed and kissed. It was soo nice, and we kiss the same way which is always great, no awkward bumping of the noses or clinking of the teeth, no way, it was perfect! He told me that he doesn't usually kiss on the first date but ever since we were sitting at the fire pit he wanted to kiss me, I was glad he did, b/c I wouldn't have made the first move.

It was getting pretty late so he walked me back to my car where there was a nice $42.00 ticket waiting for me, DOH! I forgot that the meters are never free in HB, you have to pay for those suckers 24/7!!! He offered to pay for it, but I wouldn't let him, he picked up dinner and the wine. So we kissed some more at the car and then in my car...then I drove him to his car where we kissed a little more. ;-) I couldn't get enough of his sweet lips, he was such a GOOD kisser!

The great news is he wants to come see me tonight after he has dinner with his mom and bros. He leaves for UT tomorrow and won't be back until Monday night and he says he can't wait until next week to see me again. Awwww, so sweet and forward. It so nice that we aren't playing any games, the maybe I'll hear from him after this, maybe I won't. Well, so far anyway....

So this was easily my BEST 1st DATE EVER! I'm really looking forward to spending more time with him and getting to know him better.....and kissing him some more ;-p

Cross your fingers that I see him tonight!!

Over n out..

DD

One more day to go.....

2005-02-15T13:26:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to get really excited for tomorrow night. The Lighting Guy called as promised last night and we talked for about an hour. I got to know some more about him and I must say so far he sounds GREAT! He told me about his family, how he started his business, his roommate, the last couple trips he went on, his trip to Utah he's leaving for on Friday, so far I really like everything I've herd. No mention of an "ex" which is always good news. I did slip and mention my ex, but only once and it was just in reference that we lived together. I made sure I didn't bring him up again. I must not bring him up again until he asks.

So, we are still on for the restaurant in HB unless it rains, then we will probably meet at the Spectrum, that way neither one of us has to drive too far in the rain. I'm really getting excited about our date the more I think about it. This is both good and bad. Last week before my date with the Inspector, I was not nervous nor excited about the date and it went well, just no sparks on my end. But now, since I am nervous and excited for the date tomorrow with the Lighting Guy, I fear I may "jinx" myself. Remember, do NOT get drunk and get too physical with him! Be cool!

Geez....if he even had any idea how much I am stressing about this date!!! First dates, I have a Love/Hate relationship with them!!!

I must get back to work now. I'll have more to talk about tomorrow as I panic about the count down to the BIG Date!!

Over n Out

DD

V-Day

2005-02-14T15:20:00.000-08:00

well......It's here Valentines Day. And no Lover to spend it with....Sigh....o'well. To look on the bright side, I will be working with a couple of HOT young guys tonight at the Bucks ;-p

So, this weekend.....pretty uneventful but overall enjoyable. Friday night I had dinner with the Girls, went to a great Italian place in HB. Then Sat I worked and watched "The Notebook" cute movie, total CHICK flick. And last night I had dinner with the Folks.

So, on to the Man front. I did NOT hear from the Lighting Guy over the weekend like he said I would however, I did see him on-line last night so I dropped him an IM. We chatted for a bit, he says he forgot his cell at home this weekend and that's why he didn't call, but he wanted to. Whatever....I didn't even say anything so there was no need to make up a story so.... maybe he really did forget his phone? Anyhow, he asked if we are still on for Wedneday..But of course! So he asked if I like Sea Food, Why yes, I do! So he picked a place on the pier in HB for dinner. It's been a year since I've eaten there and I love the restaurant so it should be good. We didn't discuss a time, he says he'll call me tonight after I get home from work to wish me a Happy V-Day, awww... how sweet ;-) Again, we'll see if it happens, he might lose his cell phone. ;-p NO, I'm kidding, I'm not that bitter about no phone call this weekend, like I mentioned last week, I would've been VERY surprised if he did call.

So here are somethings for me to remember for my first date with the Lighting Guy on Wednesday. Get out your pens and paper folks, these are The First Date Rules!!!

Ask any singleton about the unavoidable first date, and it will invariably be defined as a high-pressure job interview combined with the artificiality of plastic flowers! Yet, we are all so willing to do practically ANYTHING to make a good impression on that first date. So, while she sports the suspicious air of a judge looking down her nose at a defendant, men, with all the high hopes, expectations and fears, are aiming to make it to the second date!

Maybe we find the person really attractive, maybe we are just lonely and need someone to talk to, or maybe we have just found a nice catch. To aid in the progress of l'amour au courant, here are the TEN COMMANDMENTS for first date advertisement dos and don'ts to follow:

#1 Be yourself and relax: People know when you put on an act. So, do not ruin your chances with your date. Besides, if you are comfortable, your date will feel more at ease too.

#2 Dress for the occasion: Dress to look good and feel comfortable. Always arrive well groomed. Rushing to a date from work looking disheveled is not the best way to begin. If there is no alternative, take a few minutes to freshen up, calm down, compose yourself, and relax before you approach your date.

#3 Be polite and courteous: Impolite remarks or impatient behavior is offensive. Show respect for and towards your date. If you are a smoker ask whether it is ok to smoke and do not blow smoke in their face.

#4 Be a good Listener: When you listen carefully, the conversation flows along. Do not ask too many personal questions.

#5 Choose your food with care: Find out about your date's food preferences before meeting. You might want to choose your menu with more care.

#6 Do not be too pushy at the end of the date: Read the situation. If you have been having a good time you might want to give a quick kiss or a hug, but going any further on the first date usually gives off all the wrong signals. It might seem as if you are desperate or as if you are only after one thing. And thank your date for a nice time.

#7 Do not get drunk: Keep your limit in mind.

#8 Do not mention your last boyfriend/girlfriend six hundred times: Do not mention your past romantic liaisons. It just comes off as insecurity. Your date is with you because she finds some value in you. You do not need to point out the fact that all in fact, desires you.

#9 Do not assume that he/she will pay: No matter who invites whom, it is always a nice gesture to offer to pay for half the check.

The most important tip:
#10 Date safe. And do not rush into intimacy. It will give you something to look forward to on future dates.

So how is everbody on these 10 Commandments? I usually do pretty well with all but #7 and #10. The problem arises with #7 and #10 when I REALLY like the guy. B/C I really like the guy I drink more then I should so I'm more comfortable but then this can make #10 a problem for me B/C I really like the guy and now I'm horney B/C I've had too much to drink so I can be a bit"Easier" then normal. This happened to me about 6 months ago, my first date after the break -up.

So, we met for dinner at Claim Jumper. I must admit, initially I didn't find him all that physically attractive. But a couple of Martini's into the date, not to mention the glass of wine I had prior to arriving at Claim Jumper to calm my nerves, I really started to get more and more attracted to him, and no it wasn't just the alcohol, I found him quite charming and witty. Two things that I find irresistible in a man. I love men that can appreciate my sarcasm and dish it right back at me.

So after dinner and the Martinis he asked if I was comfortable going back to his place to hang out for awhile. SHHHURRRE, I was comfortable. So off we went. When we arrived I made us each another Martini. We sat on the couch and talked and flirted for about an hour and then he said he wanted to go upstairs and change into something more comfortable and asked if I wanted to see the tour of the upstairs...oh...Well...ok. So we went to his room after touring the other 2 bedrooms and he went and changed into some sweat pants and I got comfy on his bed. He came over and joined me and after some chit-chat and poking and tickling, b/c that always breaks the ice for me (childish I know) we started to kiss, and well one thing led to another before you know it we were both naked doing VERY naughty things to eachother. We did NOT have sex, but just about everything else. BAD GIRL! I know. But, F*** it felt great! And the chemistry, MAN, UN-FREAKIN-BELIEVABLE!!!

So after about 2 hours of heated passion, he walked me to the door and kissed me goodnight. The next day I thought, WOW we really have a connection, that was awesome! Well, when I called him that night, yes I called him, MISTAKE, he seemed a bit distant, and said he'd call me over the weekend. He called Sat. night while out at a bar with friends. I called him Sunday morning and asked him if he wanted to get together that night, he said he had some stuff to do and he would call me later. Well later ended up being 8 pm, a little late to make plans. So I asked him if he wanted to do something later that week, he said he would have to see what his work load was like on Monday for the week and he would call me. Well, we ended up meeting for dessert on Thursday night, we acted strange. Gave me a speach about being really busy, and didn't think he could give me what I wanted. What is it that he thought I wanted??? Anyway, I agred to just being casual.

About a week later I get and e-mail from him asking when we can get together again so he can "pleasure me". WHAT???? So he suggests that we can be Friends w/ benefits "For Now". What the F????? Well, alright, what the hell, we were FANTASTIC together! So the next week when I moved into my Apt. he came over and BOY, he gave me pleasure all right, better then I've ever experience!!! WHEW!! This friends with benefits thing could be great, I can have great sex and still date other people. Only, it didn't quite turn out that way.

I called him about a week later to see if he wanted to come over, oh no, not tonight he said, he's tired. Ok, fine. A couple weeks later he calls and wants to come over, Ok, SURE! Again, fa-nominal! So about a week after that I call him to come over, no, I can't tonight. Do you see what was going on there, it was ONLY when he wanted it. I couldn't be the one to Initiate a hook up. SO FRUSTRATING!!! So we hooked up like 5 times over a 3 month period and it stopped about 3 months ago and needless to say I haven't had any action since.

So, I'm VERY horney and a bit scared that I could get myself in this predicament again with possibly the Lighting Guy. So, I must NOT drink too much and I must NOT go back to his place, under any circumstances, RIGHT?

Man o'man! The dating dilemas I am having! Please give me the strength to hold out at least a few dates! ;-p I do definitely hope for a kiss g'night though. Maybe even a little make out session, just a small one. ;-p

Well, just about 48 hours now til the big date! I've gotta get outta here, I wrote WAY more then I had planned today! I hope someone got to read this!

Over n Out...

DD

AWESOME!

2005-02-10T10:44:00.000-08:00

Last night I talked to the Lighting Guy, he is AWESOME! We talked for about an hour. Never an awkward silence which is great, also I was a little nervous which means I like him ;-) We have so much in common and he sounds like such a fun person. He goes on weekend trips all the time and Big trips a few times a year. Initially I was a bit skeptical about him being a work-aholic since he owns his own business, but it sounds like he is very well balanced and has plenty of time to play. He's going up to SLO this weekend so he asked if we could get together for dinner next week, we have plans for Wednesday. He says he'll call me over the weekend to chat some more. WOW, if he does I will be SOOO impressed. If he's out of town hangin with his buddy and he actually takes time out to call me, that is a great sign!

Tonight I am going to a Charity benefit with Jen, it should be fun. $10 for all the wine I can drink and cheese and chocolate I can eat! It's supposedly WAY over booked though so I hope we don't have a problem getting in.

Tomorrow is Kobi, my dog's second Birthday. I'm going to bring him into work with me tomorrow so we can have some QT together. I miss him so much. ;-( I know he is in a much better environment with Cathy's family, but I sure do miss my snuggles with him.

So that's my big weekend. Nothing planned after Friday night. Maybe I'll go spend some time with the folks. I haven't seen them for a few weeks now.

Well, that's all for now. Keep your fingers crossed for me that I'll hear from the Lighting guy over the weekend. ;-)

Over n out,

DD

The day after the date...

2005-02-08T13:34:00.000-08:00

So I met the inspector last night. We ended up going to the Yard House for dinner and drinks and then went and saw "Boogieman". Dinner and drinks went well. He's a really nice and fun guy to be with howerver.... no sparks. Which I pretty much knew going into it. But it was a good date overall. And great practice for the next time I meet a new guy.

The other guy that I am currently interested in is looking good so far. I got another e-mail from him this morning. We really have a lot in common, I'm very interested in getting to know him better. He has many pluses +++++ he's older then me but not too much older, he's outdoorsy, LOVES DMB, likes to go wine tasting and is addicted to Seignfeld re-runs. I think we just might be a MATCH! ;-p We shall see, time will tell.

On another note, the ex from long ago that I hooked up with a few months ago, which was a HUGE mistake, keeps calling me. Called again last night. Ughhhh, I can't shake him.

Well, that's all for now.

DD

Should I be nervous???

2005-02-07T13:43:00.000-08:00

So tonight at 7 I am meeting the Inspector for drinks. I'm not really all that excited or nervous. Should I still meet him? I feel kind of bad going into it with such low expectations. He seems like a nice guy, I just don't know if there's really any potential. Well, I guess I could look at it as good practice for future meetings/ dates. I just hope I don't give the wrong impression. Just a little more background on my history with men...the ones I'm not interested in ALWAYS turn out to be interested in me, it's like some strange karma I have. And then the ones that I'm really into, never call me again. I think that I'm usually more relaxed and at ease with the guys that I'm not that into, and possibly a little to aggressive or try too hard with the guys that I'm really into. I need to find a happy medium between the two for the guys that I want another date with.

So speaking of other men and potential meetings/dates.....there are two new possibilities on the horizon. I got an e-mail from the one guy late last week, I don't think I've mentioned him yet in the blog. He seems nice, very outdoorsy and lives near by, he's a teacher. He hasn't responded to my e-mail from yesterday though so...I may have lost him....we'll see. But, the other guy that I'm actually quite intrigued by I got an e-mail from this morning has A LOT in common with me. The only couple of things that are questionable is his height, he's on the shorter side and slender, I prefer men who are at least 5'11 and average in size. And, he slightly resembles my ex in appearance. Not too much. But enough where people will comment. But, he does seem to be very compatible with me otherwise, so we'll see.

So, my weekend was pretty good with one exception. I went to get my nails done with some friends on Saturday and that Bitch that's dating my ex came in and walked right past me! All things considered, I actually handled it pretty well. What got me the most riled up was the fact that she was driving his explorer! He NEVER let me drive his cars, nor would he drive mine. He claimed it was b/c we weren't insured on eachothers cars so he didn't think it was a good idea. SHHHH, yeah, WHATEVER!!! Anyway, I do realize that I'm over my relationship with him. I'm actually glad she came around and stole him away from me, she did me a HUGE favor in the grand scheme of things. I was MISERABLE in that relationship, it just took being out of it for awhile for me to realize how unhappy I really was with him. He was a PRICK.

Super Bowl was fun. I won $40.00 and only spent $6.00!! Worked out pretty well for me. I'm a little hung over still from all the beer I drank yesterday. After a night of drinking beer, I'm always overly hungry the next day. I've eaten WAY too much so far today. Yikes!

Well, that's all for now folks.

Over n out

DD

Something Different

2005-01-25T09:47:00.000-08:00

Ok.....
So I've decided to keep an On-Line diary now instead of the usual paper one that you keep under your bed or in your nightstand. Who knows maybe some of you can actually benefit from my experiences and words of wisdom, whereas in a diary no one ever reads it but you, and maybe your nosy roommate. ;-p

So a little background on me and what I will most likely be writing about on here. I am a 29 year old single female, never been married no kids. I have been single for 9 months now after being in a 3 year relationship. I can honestly say that in the past 3-4 months I have really gotten used to being single again and doing things for myself. It's been great, I've had many good times and laughs with my friends, but now they are all starting to "couple-up" once again so now I'm thinking it's time for me to get out there and date again. I've dated a couple of guys in the past 9 months but nothing more then 3 or 4 dates. I guess I just wasn't ready. I went through my "bad girl" phase of going out on Friday nights and getting a bit "tipsy" and making out with a guy and even hooked up with an ex from years ago. But, I've gotten that out of my system and now I'm ready for substance. I want to spend time with a guy getting to know him and him getting to know me before we get physical. This will be challenging for me since I am a very sexual person and I often give into my animal urges ;-p. But this is a new me, after all I'll be 30 in May, I need to break those old bad habits.

So I've been trying out the Match.com thing and so far it has been a pretty positive experience. I've talked to a hand full of really great guys, even met a couple for drinks. I haven't met prince charming yet, but I'm optimistic that he's out there. One thing I find a bit annoying about Match is that some guys are so vague about their intentions. Me, I'm very up front and honest about who I am and what I'm looking for. Just a little tip guys, if you are trying there on-line dating thing, in your e-mails ask questions about who we are and what are our interests etc. Don't' send one and two line e-mails and then expect us to give you our phone #'s or ask for a date. Come on....

So I'll tell you about my latest potential date on Match. We e-mailed a few times, great e-mails and then chatted on-line for over an hour one night and then exchanged #'s and talked n the phone a couple of times and then set a date which was supposed to happen last week. Unfortunately he canceled a few hours before the date, had a personal emergency. We talked he seemed genuinely sorry for canceling and hopes to reschedule only it won't be able to happen for another month due to his work load and a 2-1/2 week trip out of the country he will be going on. So, I don't know, maybe we'll get together when he gets back, maybe not. It's been a week since I've talked to him. Doesn't sound too good huh?

So there is another possibility that I've been e-mailing with now for about 2 weeks. It's going slow, but his e-mails are pretty good, seems to have a genuine interest in getting to know me. He hasn't asked for my # yet though, and I must say, it's time. I need to hear his voice, see how the phone conversation goes very soon or I may loose interest. I think I have a problem with being patient. ;-p

So those are the basics. I plan on writing mostly about my dating life on here but I'm sure there will be some stuff about my girlfriends and work experiences at times as well.

Please feel free to comment on my Blog Entries and give me advice or ask me for advise.

Over and out,

DD