Thursday, October 13, 2005

Breaking Up is HARD to do

The past few weeks I have been taking a long hard look at my relationship with the Super. Although he is a fantastic guy and has treated me wonderfully, he's just not "The One". I was struggling with how I was going to do it, break up with him. Well, last week he presented me with the perfect opportunity. Here's what happened:

Last Thursday his cell phone broke, so we didn't talk at all that day which was the first time in months that we didn't hear eachothers voice. Friday, I e-mailed him my phone number so he could get in touch with me since his phone book is stored in his cell, he couldn't access my cell number. All day, nothing from him, no call no e-mail. Then around 4 pm I got a call from his secretary at his office asking if I had another phone number for him, they are trying to get in touch with him since he didn't show up for work. I told her, no I don't have any other number and I actually hadn't talked to him myself for a couple of days. Now I was concerned, it's not like the Super to not show up for work or call in. I tried his cell again, straight to v-mail.

All weekend I tried to call him, no answer just v-mail. I was feeling a combination of frustration and concern, where in the HELL was he?? And is he ok???

Monday when I got into work I gave him a call from my work line and he ANSWERED! I was so stunned that I hung up. About 10 mins later when I collected myself I called him back, straight to v-mail. WHAT THE HELL??? Now I was PISSED!! So I wrpte him the following e-mail:


Are you going to enlighten me on where you were all weekend and why I never heard from you? For what it's worth I was worried sick all weekend. When Louise called me Friday afternoon asking if I had another phone number for you b/c they couldn't get in touch with you and you hadn't shown up for work I started to worry. I e-mailed you my phone numbers and called and left you a voice mail, I thought I would've heard something from you by now.

I called your cell phone several times this weekend and always got your v-mail until this morning when I called and you answered, I was so shocked that I hung up. When I collected myself enough to call you back and talk to you, I got your v-mail again, which tells me that you are avoiding me and don't want to talk.

I don't know what's going on with you, but I think I deserve an explanation. If this is your way of breaking things off with me, it's WEAK!

If you don't want to talk to me, I hope that you will at least respond to this e-mail to give me a Heads-Up to what's going on.

His response:

I'm sorry I didn't call you. Thanks for caring, I have a lot of crap going on in my head right now and you don't deserve the silent treatment. My phone is getting fixed right now(I'm getting a new one and when you called we were in the middle of it. It should be working shortly and my daughter is having some serious problems right now, I'm trying to sort that out, some things are a bit overwhelming to me right now and I just have to get through it. I will call you when I can today, again I'm very sorry for my actions!

We finally talked briefly on Tuesday morning. He told me that his daughter got into a confrontation with 3 other girls at school and they may need to get a Lawyer. So that is why he didn't go to work Friday and then he gave me some small talk about work and then had to go attend to a work matter. I didn't talk to him again until I called him last night.

I woke him up from a nap at 8:30 pm and he sounded down. He says all he wants to do is come home and sleep. He then asked how I was doing, I told him I've had a lot on my mind and I've been thinking a lot about what I want for my future and from a relationship and that our relationship isn't healthy. When he had a family crisis he didn't call his Girlfriend for support or even to tell me what was going on, instead I was left in the dark not hearing from him for 5 days and assuming the worst. He apologized and agreed that I deserve better, and that is just his way of dealing with his stress. He keeps to himself, that's fine for him, not me. I want my significant other to talk to me and lean on me for support. So I told him that this past weekend had just solidified my decision that we aren't right for eachother, we want different things from a relationship right now. When we started dating we were both on the same page, we didn't want anything serious, just to date and have fun, but then it turned into something more, but not quite what I want and need now. He understood and we both said we would like to stay friends.

We are supposed to have dinner tonight to talk some more. He is going through a tough time and I want to be there for him as a friend. I'll have a full report tomorrow about whatever we end up talking about tonight.

So, here I am once again....SINGLE. But it's good. I've learned a lot about myself from my relationship with the Super and he has shown me how I deserve to be treated (this past week aside) he always complimented me and made me feel good about myself and we always had a good time with eachother. I have realized that I am ready to meet someone special and open my heart up to a new relationship and possibly one that lasts forever.

Wish me luck on finding Love. ;-)

Over n Out,


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Sounds like you're making a solid decision.

(Which I'm sure is a great relief to you, that somebody you've never heard of thinks it's okay if you do what you want.)

We are supposed to have dinner tonight to talk some more. He is going through a tough time and I want to be there for him as a friend.

Good luck with that. I've always had a hell of a time being a good friend to ex's.
wish you all the luck you need to love and love for eternity.
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