Monday, June 27, 2005

A Sticky Situation

Last Wednesday night I met up with the Super at The Catch, a Bar across from Angel Stadium. We had a couple beers and HOT Wings before my friends arrived and we talked a little more about his situation with the EX girlfriend. He started off by telling me that he feels really bad for not telling me the whole story sooner but under the circumstances, those being he didn't think things would go past the one night together, he didn't feel it was necessary to go into detail with me on the Girlfriend. But now, he needs to explain things to me because he has developed serious feelings for me and wants to pursue a relationship with me.

Sooooo, he lives with the Girlfriend....I almost shit myself. This is exactly what happened with my Ex that I lived with for 2-1/2 years, he left me for another woman. Of course every situation is different. Still, had I known that he LIVED with the Girlfriend, I NEVER would've gotten together with him. He could see the shock on my face. He said "I feel like a scummy bastard for lying to you, I don't blame you if you hate me."

Well, I told him I don't hate him, but I'm not thrilled with this news. It definitely affects my trust in him. He understood. He told me that he has been trying to break things off with her for several months and wanted to move out but he had made some commitments to finishing some projects on the house before he moved out. He has been working hard to get those projects done. He says he plans on moving out at the end of July. I told him that I can NOT open myself up to a relationship with him until he has moved out of her house. He understood.

So I have not seen the Super since last Wednesday, and I don't plan on spending much time with him in the next month. He has been invited by my friends to their 4th of July BBQ this weekend though. It should be fine. I just don't want to be alone with him until he changes his living situation.

I'm probably making a mistake by giving him a chance, but I can't help myself. He's so much fun to be with and he makes me feel great.

I am still going to date other people for the time being. In fact, the Surfer is back from Baja once again and called last night and wants to get together this week. I'm IN! He's a Babe and I very much enjoy his company.

ShibaDiva is going to attempt to juggle folks. Let's see how I do. ;-p

I'm out~

DD

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

A Little Bit of Clarity

So the Super and I have still not had "The Talk" but we have touched on the subject and he has clarified a few questions that I had.

I didn't talk to him all weekend, his dad is still in town and I was up in LA for the weekend. On my way to work Monday he called me on my cell. We caught up with eachothers weekends etc. and then he told me he misses me and he really would like to see me soon. And he says he really needs to have that talk with me and explain things and his thoughts and he is eager to know what I think. We've had plans to go to the Angels Game on Wednesday with some friends of mine, I'd like for us to have our "talk" before then. So, today while we were on the phone we talked about things a little. He explained that he has been Friends with Leilani for several years and they have had a physical relationship on and off between other relationships. He says he's been trying to break things off with her for the past few months but it hasn't been easy. He says that she has known all along that he is not Committed to her, he wants his freedom do what he wants. I told him that I had figured from the first weekend that he told me a little about her that it sounded like a relationship of convienece for him, he agreed and said that he didn't feel right about it because she has always felt more strongly for him then he has for her.

He wanted me to know that he didn't cheat on her with me. They have always had an open relationship. He never hid anything from her when she was on his computer last week and saw my e-mails he told her about me, honestly. She was upset, naturally and demanded to know how he felt about me and he told her that he wasn't expecting to have the kind of feelings for me that he has. He broke things off with her last week.

That is as much history on their relationship that I've gotten so far. He says he really wants to explain everything to me later in person when we have more time. I'm satisfied with what he has told me so far. I know that he has chosen to pursue a relationship with me and has broken things off with her.

I'm not sure where things will go with the Super but I'm willing to find out. Despite what some of you may think of him, he is a really awesome person. He's been honest with me as far as I can tell. maybe I'm being too trusting and maybe I'll get hurt in the future but the way that he makes me feel is worth taking that chance.

I hope to get even more clarity on where I stand with him tomorrow. I'll have the full update on Thursday.

I'm Out..

DD

Thursday, June 16, 2005

A "SUPER" Situation with the Super

After stewing all day yesterday wondering what the Super was going to tell me about this e-mail from his Girlfriend, he called me this morning while on his way to work. He was in a good mood and told me all about his Son's graduation the day before and then said "Your message yesterday said it was Important, what's up?" I told him he might want to wait until he had some time to talk with out being overheard, his Dad was in the car with him at the time. He replied with "I don't mind my dad over-hearing anything I have to say." Well all-righty then....I told him that I got an e-mail from Leilani the day before. His response...."Oh, you did?" I asked how she got my e-mail, she apparently saw my e-mails that I had sent him. I asked if he knew that she had e-mailed me..... No, he did not. He was quick to get on the Defense, "I told you from the beginning that I had a girlfriend." I said "Yes, you did however your story and hers about the length of your relationship don't match up."

I told him that I wasn't mad, just a bit confused and that I need more information about him and Leilani and we also need to discuss what's going on between us before things get any more involved. He agreed and said that he does need to explain his relationship with Leilani, he really hadn't told me the whole story. And then he asked "Are WE ok?" Are things COOL with US?" I told him things are ok, but we definitely need to TALK. He agreed and told me he would call me later.

So here I am again STEWING, not knowing all of the details just bits and pieces. I don't know what I want to do. I honestly didn't think that I would develop the feelings for him that I have. DAMN him for making me fall for him!!! He calls me every day, says all of the right things, everything that I want to hear from a guy that I'm dating but....HE'S UNAVAILABLE!!! This is KILLING me not knowing what he has told Leilani about me. Obviously she knows about me, and he doesn't seem to want to break things off with me. But it also seems like he isn't breaking things off with her!!!

I just might go INSANE today!!! This absolutely SUCKS!!!!! Why did I get involved with him????

Still Freaking Out

DD

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Un-nerving E-mail

I got a VERY un-nerving e-mail today from the Super Intendants Girlfriend. Yes, I knew he had a girlfriend when we met, he said that they have been together for about 9 months. They have been friends for many years. He was good friends with her and her Ex husband and when they got a divorce, he helped her get on her feet and find a place for her and her kids to live and they got close. But he told me that he doesn't want to be tied down and she knows that. So I took their relationship to be one of convenience and not that serious, especially since he's been chasing after me. He has called me everyday for the past 2 weeks.

I haven't asked about the girlfriend since the first weekend that we hung out, I figured I wouldn't worry about it until things got more serious between us. I must admit that I have been wanting to say something to him since this past weekend. We spent all day Saturday and Sunday morning together again, and had a GREAT time. I can feel myself falling for him more and more and it's scary.

So this morning when I get into work I have an e-mail from his girlfriend:

ShibaDiva,
My name is Leilani, I am The Super's girlfriend. We have been together
steady for 3 yrs. on and off for 10. I thought I would know what to say
but I don't. Know that I love him deeply.


Leilani

HOLY CRAP!!! So, first I'm thinking..."How in the hell did she get my e-mail?" Then I'm wondering..."How does she know my last name?" I'm guessing that the Super has told her about me and maybe broke things off???? Or possibly she found one of my e-mails to him, but I don't know how that could've happened, I only e-mail him at work. Then I realize, her story does not match up to his story, dating on and off for 10 years??? That would mean that they were having an affair while they were both married to other people! Now, I don't know what the truth is. The worst part about all of this, I can't ask the Super about it today b/c he is with his family at his son's graduation all day today!!! I left him a v-mail this morning at 8:15am that just said call me when you have a chance, it's important. No call back. But I don't expect to hear from him today. This has been eating away at me ALL FREAKING DAY!!! I need more information!!! Should I be worried that this Leilani chick knows where I work???? "F!"

What the hell am I doing????????? Why did I have to fall for the guy with MAJOR baggage?????


Freaked Out,

DD

Friday, June 10, 2005

Feast or Famine ... ALWAYS!!

So I've figured out that what I need to get a date is to already have a date scheduled. I started dating the Surfer about a month ago, and things were going well. We have a good time together. Well, a week after our first date I went up to our Corporate Office for a week of training and ended up hooking up with the Super Intendant and we've been dating ever since. So I have been juggling. So far it's been easy due to all of our schedules I've never had to choose between the two, I just make plans and it has worked out. Well, this week and next week are TOTALLY booked up for me between working at the Bucks, Family commitments, plans with Friends and dates with either the Surfer or the Super Intendant, I literally have plans for the next 10 days solid! I'm try to schedule a hair cut for next week and I think I'm going to have to go on one of my lunch breaks b/c every evening is booked up!

On top of all of that, a guy that I had been chatting with on Match back in November has resurfaced and wants to meet. I really like him, and would like to meet him. If anything I think we could be friends. We actually went to the same High School, he graduated a year after me. But I just don't think I can add a 3rd guy to the mix, even if we just end up being friends.

Why is it ALWAYS Feast or Famine with men for me????

I also feel like I may need to make a decision between the Surfer and the Super in the near future. Especially since things have become VERY physical with the Super. The Surfer and I have only kissed. I guess I'll have to see how things go with the Surfer the next time I see him, which I think will be on Tuesday. But before then, I have a date with the Super tomorrow which I am VERY excited about. I don't know what we are going to do yet, but I know there will be bedroom fun to look forward to! We can't keep our hands off of eachother!

Well, I'm off for the weekend. I'll have a full weekend report on Monday.

Over n Out,

DD

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

My Heart Skipped a Beat

I had such a GREAT weekend! Saturday afternoon the Super Intendant got to my place around 4:30 pm and we decided to go see a movie and then get some dinner. We went and saw "Crash" it was a very well made movie, but NOT a happy movie. We were constantly touching eachother during the movie weather he had his arm around me, his hand on my leg or we wee holding hands, it was very nice. Everytime that man touches me it gives me goose bumps! And he says the sweetest things to, weather it's a compliment or just being agreeable and when he smiles at me, I melt.

After the movie we went to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner, my 2nd time there this week, good thing I LOVE the food there! We had a great conversation, we talked more about his past relationships, marriage and his kids and he learned more about my past as well. He has worked so hard to get where he is today, I admire him so much. He's such a genuine guy. He made me realize something about myself, I tend to talk behind peoples back a bit, I don't mean to be catty, but I guess I am at times. The Super never says a bad thing about anyone. I also noticed that he uses very little foul language, no F-Bombs, hardly ever even says "Crap". All very refreshing, but made me realize anytime I used harsh words.

After dinner we went back to my place and had a couple of beers and listened to DMB and chatted some more after about an hour we went to my bedroom. We spent a good 20 minutes just making out, and he would say the sweetest things to me, he's very complimentary and affectionate, he made me feel soo sexy and the butterflies were getting stronger in my stomach. Soon all of our clothes were off and he went down on me for what had to be at least 20 mins, I couldn't cum, I had too much to drink, I wasn't drunk but more then 2 drinks interferes with my ability to cum...I'm not sure why. I then returned the favor to him and then we had sex. I swear my heart skipped a beat as I looked into his eyes as I straddled him with both of our hands linked by our fingers, our breathing was in perfect rhythm with eachother as well as our thrusts, I could feel my orgasm building up inside me I was almost there but I just couldn't climax. That aside, it was still the most intimate I had been with a man since my "Ex" and it felt AMAZING!

After he came, we laid in eachothers arms and snuggled and talked for awhile and then fell asleep. Our bodies were touching all night and I woke up to him spooning me with his arm wrapped around me. I rolled over and gave him a kiss, he kissed me back and our tongues glided together and then he rolled me completely over so he was on top of me and went down on me and told he wasn't going to leave until I came. It took a little while but cum I did. It was incredible. After that we had sex again and cuddled some more. Two hours after we had awoke, we got up and showered and went to breakfast, we were STARVED!

After breakfast we watched a little bit of NASCAR at my place and then we said our good byes. He called me later Sunday night and told me that he had a Great weekend and couldn't stop smiling. ;-) We've talked everyday since. Things feel so good with him but I have no idea what's going to happen. We are at totally different places in our lives. I'm trying not to over think the situation and just have fun, but I feel myself falling for him...BIG TIME. I want to follow my heart NOT my head. Which is smarter? In my last relationship I followed my head, not my heart and I was miserable in that relationship, I stayed in it for security not love. This is a new feeling for me. I just hope I don't get hurt.

Over n Out,

DD

Friday, June 03, 2005

When did my life become so hectic???

My gosh have I been BUSY!!! Work has been SUPER crazy lately!!! No time to Blog! I've been putting in overtime and I still have work up to my eyeballs!! And, I've been working at the Bucks 2-3 days a week again.

Well, last weekend was pretty fun. I relaxed on Friday by the pool at my parents and got a HORRIBLE Sunburn! I was trying to "fix" the Farmers Burn I got the weekend before at the Softball game. I thought I was so smart by putting sunblock "ONLY" on the areas that were burned the week before. Ummmm.... didn't quite work out. I somehow overlapped a little on my arms so now not only do I still have a faint Farmers tan, there is a line on both of my upper arms that is completely WHITE!! And, I must have touched my chest with lotion on my hand b/c there are a few splotches that are WHITE! And, the front of me is WAY REDDER then the back side. DAMN SEXY folks! Needless to say, I was NOT sporting a Bikini at the pool party on Sunday.

Friday night I went out with The Surfer. We met up at the same place as we did for our first date. We had a good time, had a few cocktails and split a pizza followed by another make-out session in the parking-lot at my car. I had a good time, but it seemed we had less to talk about this time. Hmmmmm

Saturday was the Family Festivities with all of my Dad's side of the family, I'm just glad I got through it. I love my Family but can only take them in small doses.

Then Sunday was the BIG B'day Bash in the IE! There was a pretty good turn out. About 30 people made the hour long drive out o my friends place. At least the weather was nice. Everyone was in the spa at point or another during the afternoon and evening. I of course did not want to strip down to my suit until the sun went down. I didn't want to draw attention to my F'ed Up Sunburn. So, after a few others got thrown in the pool, my friend Will thought it was my turn, so in I went...fully clothed and holding a beer. At least I took him in with me. ;-) I knew it would happen eventually. At least I didn't get my top pulled off as I went in like my friend Shelli. When she pushed her boyfriend in he grabbed her by the shirt and some how it went over her head and she was top-less, so in she went! It was pretty funny. ;-) Overall a very good time. Monday was spent relaxing and recovering from the party.

This past Wednesday night the Surfer and I had our 3rd date. He actually picked me up this time! We went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner and then walked around the mall until it closed, then he took me home. Once we got inside my place he said he needed to get going since he had to get up early for a Surf Competition. He gave me a hug and a quick kiss and said "I'm not going to get all Hot n Heavy tonight, I need to go." Ummmmm.....okaaayyyy. A little odd. I'm starting to feel like things aren't going anywhere with the Surfer, really nice guy but the chemistry is a bit off.

Now, on to Guy #2 the Super Intendant. We've been chatting here and there over the past couple of weeks. He had his kids last weekend so we couldn't get together, but we have plans for tomorrow. I'm very excited to see him. Now the Super and I have A LOT OF CHEMISTRY!! He gives me butterflies. I feel like a giddy High School girl when I talk to him and when he looks at me and smiles, I blush. ;-p I'm really looking forward to seeing him again!!!

Well, it's just about time to get out of here. Hopfully I'll have some good stuff to report next week after my date with the Super Intendant!!

Over n Out,

DD

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