Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Match.com Update

About 2 or 3 weeks after I started dating LG, my subscription to Match ran out and I decided not to renew and see where things went with LG. Around the same time I started talking to LG I had also been e-mailing with another guy on Match (Let's call him The Surfer), I may have mentioned him briefly in an old Blog entry, he's 32, lives near me, we have quite a bit in common, the only thing that I saw as a negative was that he's Divorced. He told me that the marriage was very short lived, basically his ex wasn't ready for marriage, she was younger then him and not ready for that step. No kids and things ended without any ugliness. So, I was willing to give it a shot with him, unfortunately I never got his personal e-mail so when I canceled Match, I couldn't communicate with him. In his last e-mail to me he suggested that we meet for a drink sometime, I never responded. I felt bad. So I joined Match again last week and sent him an apology for disappearing and explained why I disappeared and that I hope he can forgive me and maybe we could pick-up where we left off. Here was his response:

Hey there,
No worries about disappearing. I understand. Sorry to hear about the bummer of a trip to NYC. I just got back from a week of surfing in Hawaii. It is so wonderful there, and it was hard to have to come back to work today! I actually started seeing someone about that same time too and it has just about run its course. We get along ok and have stuff in common, but like you said, something is missing. We are both kind of sensing it and we both kinda feel that we need to talk about it but have only just touched on it a little. Know what I mean??? We are just kinda hanging out, but at least I have the feeling it has run its course. It hasn’t been anything too serious...seeing each other once a week or maybe twice and that’s it. So anyway...I guess you could say I am technically "seeing someone". But...I was glad to read your note. It sounds like you just got out of kinda the same thing. I would definitely be interested in chatting with you more in the future, but I need to take care of this first. I am not the type of person that hangs onto a Relationship just for the sake of being in one, nor do I like to just jump ship into something else right away.I am glad you are back on and dropped me a line. Lets chat some more and maybe in a couple weeks we can get together...if you are still single!! Don't worry...I forgive you!!!! Talk to you soon, The Surfer

Funny how we were both in similar dating situations, only he's still in his. Yesterday I talked about my thoughts on the saying "Everything Happens for a Reason" now here's another one to think about "Timing is Everything". It really is, isn't it? I swear, there have just been too many incidents in my life where timing WAS everything in a situation. For an example, in my dating life it seems to either be "Feast or Famine" for me. I'm either TOTALLY single or I have 2-3 potential men on the horizon. When I'm LOOKING for a guy, I can't even get the slightest bit of attention from a guy, then when I relax and just go about my business, they start popping up everywhere.

What do you think this coincidence with the Surfer and I being in the same place in our dating lives is all about? Hmmmm, makes me wonder. I hope to hear from him soon, he seems like a really great guy and I hope we can pick-up where we left off once he is available again. ;-)

Over n Out,

DD

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Does Everything Really Happen for a Reason?

Lately I have been giving a lot of thought to the saying "Everything happens for a reason." For the most part I'm a believer in this saying, it's right up along with "That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Afterall it is true that we learn from our mistakes, right? Or at least we hope that we will.

I think that in life we have to experience certain things before we can get it right. We have to have our up's and downs and our Fuck-up's so we can truly appreciate when something good happens or when we are truly happy in life. For example, a little over 4 years ago I was living alone in HB, my best friend had just moved to Northern Ca and it seemed at the time that the majority of my friends were in relationships for the first time in several years. I was 25 at the time and had really enjoyed being single for my early 20's. But at this time I found myself to be one of the few singletons, and some of my friends were starting to have babies as well. I started to feel really lonely and like I was behind on the falling in love and getting married and having a family thing so, I posted a profile on Love@aol. This was before they merged with Match.com. After about a month of responses that I wasn't interested in I was ready to take my profile off when I got an e-mail from a familiar face. It was a guy that I had chatted with a couple of years before. He claimed that he didn't remember me, but I remembered him b/c of his job, it was very unusual. Anyway, we IM'ed for about 3 hours one night and then talked on the phone the next night for about another 3 hours. About 2 weeks later we met.

A little more background, I didn't find him all that physically attractive in his photos, but his work and eagerness to get to know me better kept me interested. So when he picked me up for our first date I was a bit surprised at his height, he said he was 5'8, he was more like 5'6. After I got home that night I pretty much decided that I wasn't interested. He called me a couple days later and asked me out again, I agreed to go on a second date, and athird and so on. Even as time went on and we got to know eachother better, I never felt that "spark" that you should when you're first dating someone. Our relationship basically kept going b/c he pursued it and he treated me better then I had ever been treated, he made me feel special.

Four months into the relationship he asked me to move in with him, I declined, I was NOT ready to live with him. Five months later, I changed my mind......... BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE! Shortly after moving in with him he became very controlling of every aspect of my life. He called me several times a day to "check in" wanted to know everything I ate, he wanted me to lose weight, I lost 20lbs that first year we lived together BTW, and he monitored every dime I spent and gave me a hard time any time I bought something for myself. I felt trapped, I felt like I was stuck with him. The last 2 years of our relationship were BAD, as time went on the worse it got, I actually felt hatred towards him, not good when this is supposedly the man you want to marry? What was I thinking?! I was in such a fog, I had completely lost myself in this relationship, I relied on him for so much, too much. The day he broke things off with me was both the worst day of my life and the best day of my life. It was the worst b/c my whole life as I knew it had been turned upside down. It was the best b/c I had to put my life back in order after. And when I did, I remembered who I was and what was important to me in life. See, what didn't kill me, made me stronger. And, I will NEVER settle for a half assed relationship, if the magic isn't there, I'm moving on. And I have a whole new appreciation for single life in my late 20's, soon to be 30. I am totally comfortable with where I am in life. I would like to meet someone special, but I also know that it will happen when it is supposed to happen. I've met some very cool, guys this past year and I've learned something about myself from each of them, I wouldn't change a thing that's happened this past year. I'm actually looking forward to turning 30 next month. A few weeks ago it was a soar subject. But after some reflecting, I feel much different. I feel better, more positive in general. It's good. ;-)

That's just one example of Everything happening for a reason in my life, and I'm sure there were many experiences that I had as a result of that relationship with my ex. I had never lived with a boyfriend before, I learned that I don't want to do that EVER again. The list could go on and on I'm sure.

So how do you all feel about this? Does everything happen for areason? Tell me your thoughts...

Over n Out,

DD

Monday, April 18, 2005

It feels good to be bad.. ;-p

Has it really been a week since I've posted on my Blog? WOW, where does the time go. Last week was pretty mellow, not much to Blog about. But this weekend does have some Blog worthy material. ;-)

Yesterday I went to Bel Mont Shores to a friends house for Brunch. My girl posse and I all headed up there around 11 am. It was fun, great food and saw some people I hadn't seen for awhile. Around 3 pm we headed back down towards HB and went to the ShoreHouse for some beers. Remember [b]? We've been talking since January but have only actually gone out once, well we talked last Sunday and made tenative plans for yesterday. He told me last Sunday that he would give me a call around Wed. to touch base, he never called. I figured we were off, but I had just enough Champange and beer yesterday that I had no fear, I gave him a call. I knew he was working at the time, he had a shoot down at the beach. So I just said "hey, it's me about 7 pm I'm heading home and just wanted to see if you still wanted to get together after your shoot. Give me a call." I didn't expect to hear from him but at 7:45 pm my cell rang, it was him. Yes, he still wanted to get together. He invited me to come over, I had been wanting to see his work and his photos from his trip to Africa. I got over there a little before 9 pm. Now, I realize that I was setting myself up to be seduced, and by doing this I'm pretty much ruining any chance of a relationship with [b]. Honestly, there is like NO chance a relationship could ever work w/ [b] b/c he is a WORK-O-HOLIC! So, I'm totally up for whatever happens at his place, I have fun with him and the chemistry is UNREAL! I knew sex would be awesome with him just by the way we kissed on our last date and the way we talk to each other. So here's how everything played out....

I pull up to his house, he opens the front door and the front room is lit only by candles and it smells GREAT inside. (Scented candles, very metro of him, but I LOVED it!) He showed me around downstairs, made me a cocktail and then we sat down and he showed me the slide show of his Africa trip, amazing! He is SOOOO talented! We chatted and cuddled on the couch for a bit and then he took me upstairs for that tour. I love his place, it's decorated all in Z Gallery and he has his working hanging everywhere. We ended the tour in his bedroom, of course. He sat at his computer station and I sat on his bed across from him and chtted for a bit until he joined me on the bed.

He threw his back out 2 weeks ago and is still recovering ever so slightly so he worked that angle to get a back rub out of me. I called him out on what he was doing, but I gladly played along. He took his shirt off and told me to take off mine as well, so I did. After a few mins of the back rub he rolled over and pulled me down until our lips met, we made out and joked around with eachother, soon we were naked and exploring every inch of eachothers bodies. We told eachother what felt good and what we wanted one another to do, it was fun and felt amazing. It's so great when you have good communication between eachother. We ended up having sex 3 times and it was better and better, I was sooooo close to an O, but it didn't happen. Next time, for sure. ;-) We showered together after, always fun.

He talked several times about seeing eachother again, and next time he'll take me on a REAL date, come and pick me up and take me to a nice dinner. ;-) We'll see. If anything, I'm having fun, he's awesome!

I must go into a meeting now, I have more to write later.

DD

Monday, April 11, 2005

April 10th = BAD LOVE DAY

Gosh, it's been awhile since I've blogged. Last week was such a busy week and I was still fighting off the cold from HELL! Well, I'm about 95% better now, Thank God! I actually made it to the gym on Saturday and did my FIRM work out yesterday, it felt GREAT! I'm HIGHLY motivated to get this extra 15 lbs off of me that I've somehow put on this past year. I was looking at my pics from NYC and I couldn't believe how much I've let myself go, I looked BAAAAD.

So, last week was Shelli's 30th B'day on Wednesday, got together with the chicks and Shelli's boyfriend for a wonderful dinner, a night of gluttony. And then Friday was Monica's 29th B'day and we celebrated at her place with another night of gluttony. The food was wonderful, but I can't do it anymore! Saturday was day one of my new diet and exercise program. It's starting to get warmer and the days are longer, I want to look good in my shorts and bikini this summer, I've got a lot progress to make!

April 10th = BAD LOVE DAY for Miss ShibaDiva:
Last April 10th, 2004 which was the day before Easter last year, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me and I moved back in with my parents. This year on April 10th, LG the guy I have been dating for about 2 months broke things off with me. You all knew LG, the guy I was chasing around and obsessing about the past 2 months, sadly it's over. I can't say I didn't see it coming, shit, we all did. Honestly, I'm not that upset about things not working out with LG, it's more the fact that it's another failed relationship. He was a great guy. I felt from about the 4th date that there was a certain element missing. I couldn't put my finger on it, but as time went by I knew he noticed it too, I think we both liked eachother so much that we wanted it to work out and progress into something, it just didn't. Last night he called, we were supposed to do something only after saying our hellos and how has your weekend been he said "You know, I have to be honest with you, I don't have time for a relationship right now, and you're such a great person, you deserve better." I responded with "Are you sure you didn't just lose interest?" "Because I've noticed a change over the past month in the frequency of your calls and you don't tell me how much fun you had anymore when we go out, where as in the first few weeks of dating you did." He agreed, he had lost interest, it's just that he had lost that certain feeling that you have for someone when you are willing to reorganize all of your plans just to see that special someone, he no longer felt that for me. I told him I was feeling the same way, which was true. I just liked him so much that I was hoping things would improve down the line. We ended things on a positive note, we said we want to KIT and be friends, but I'm sure I'll never hear from him again. But I have no bad feeling about it, he's a great guy and I'm glad we met and spent the time we did together. I just couldn't believe the uncanny timing....same day I got dumped last year. I cried in my pillow most f the night, wondering when I'll find Mr. Right, I was feeling very lonely last night.

Today, I am feeling better. I'm back on Match. I winked at few guys, we'll see if I get any feed back. Let's see if I can actually follow some of the advise that I get from my readers here with the next guy I date. ;-p

I must get back to work, Mondays are always so BUSY!

Over n Out,

DD

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Kinja, the weblog guide