Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Waiting and waiting....

So after much advise from several people here on my blog and from friends, I am waiting for the guys to call me. I'm not initiating anything w/ LG or [b]. Here's how the week has gone.....

Monday night I worked at the Bucks, got off at 9 pm instead of the norm 10:15 pm. I had 2 messages on my cell. The first was from LG "Hey, I'm just on my way home, you're probably working, I'm going to head to the gym and I'll give ya a call around 10:20ish. Talk to ya later." The second call was from [b] "Hey, it's [b] just wanted to see how your weekend was, you're probably at work, give me a call when you get home, hopfully we can set something up to see eachother again soon. Take Care."

Who did I call back 1st? [b] We chatted for a bit, he told me he had a great time w/ me last week and can't wait to see me again, what does my week look like? Well between both of our schedules, it looks like we will have to wait until early April to get together again. [b] is going to Vegas March 20th - 25th and I leave for NY March 26th and get back on April 2nd. And we were both too busy this week, so we must wait.

Next I called back LG. We caught up with eachother, he asked how my week looks, I told him I'm working Tues and going out w/ the girls on St. Patty's Day. I asked if he was going out for St. Patty's, he said probably not. We talked a bit longer and then he said he would call me tomorrow, have a good night. We made NO plans..... and no call last night..... WHATEVER!

So, it appears that I am dateless for the week. Honestly, I can't say I mind. Thursday and Friday I have plans with friends, so I'll keep busy, maybe even meet someone new... ;-p

That's all for now...

Over n Out

DD

Sunday, March 13, 2005

It's starting to creep back in...DOUBT.

Friday afternoon when I hadn't herd from the Lighting Guy since Wednesday, I started to wonder if we were still on for that night. We hadn't talked about what we were doing, just that we would do something. So, I called him. He was having a BAD day, he wasn't sure what time he would get home from work. I suggested SUSHI, he said that sounded good, he would come down to me. He said he would call me later to let me know what time he'd be down. Ok, I HATE not having a time frame in mind, it drives me NUTS! So at 6:15 pm I called him "How is the drive going?' LG "Oh, I'm home now. I'll be heading down to your place soon, see ya in about an hour.

He gets to my place at 7:30, we go to SUSHI had a good time but something seemed a bit off. I can't really put my finger on it...just off. After dinner we decide to go back to my place and watch "The Grudge". I sat down on the couch next to him and he put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him, we laid like that through the whole movie. After the movie we kissed on the couch then took it into the bedroom. We have this great chemistry together, I get so hot and excited when I'm with him. This time I took control, after some oral......no "O" for me.... I decide dammit, I want to have an "O" tonight! So, I got on top. It was great, we were moving together nicely, I could feel the build up inside of me and just when I was starting to get close....he came. No warning, he just cums...and just stops...he doesn't let out a sigh...grunt..nothing, it just stops. He smiles and says "That felt sooo good".......HUH??? This was our 3rd time together and not once has he seemed at all concerned about me having an "O". Is he aware of my lack of an "O"? I mean he never asks if I have one...WTF?

So, we lay there and cuddle and chat a bit. I told him he's welcome to stay the night but, I have to get up at 5:30 am for work at the Bucks. He said that's cool, he needs to meet his buddies at the beach by 7 am to go surfing...so he stayed the night.

Now the good thing about the 3 times that we have had sex is we always stay the night together, but then the mornings are a little...well... Awkward. Yesterday morning I got up, got ready and then woke up LG. He got up, got dressed and walk out with me, gave me a hug & kiss on the cheek and told me to have fun at work. I told him to have a good day surfing and to call me later, he said ok and off he went. I called him at 6:30 pm on my to a party just to check in, I got his v-mail, FRUSTRATING! I left a casual message, just calling to see how your day was, I know you have a family thing tomorrow, hope you have a good day, call me when you have a chance, bye.

Soooo....now it's starting to creep back in, DOUBT. I know it's only Sunday morning and I probably won't hear from LG until tomorrow but I'm starting to wonder what he's feeling. Last week just seemed off from the first couple of weeks of dating. The first 4 dates, he would always make plans for the next date before saying good bye or at least say "I;ll call you tomorrow, or you call me tomorrow". Now it's just "Talk to ya later." Is this just b/c he has a certain sense of confidence that we will talk soon or see eachother soon? Or is he starting to lose interest? As of right now we haven't made any future plans to see eachother and I don't know when I'll hear from him. That's why I'm starting to freak a little again. UGHHH!!

So on another note.... I got an e-mail from Cancellation guy yesterday. Let's call him [b] from now on.

"Hey Doll, It was nice meeting you the other night. I had a super fun time! I hope you have a great weekend and maybe we can get together next week before I go to Vegas.
Xo,
[ b ]

I would love to see him again, we had a lot of fun last week. But, this week is very full for me so far. I work Mon & Tues night and Thursday is St. Paty's Day and I'm going out with the girls. So that leaves Wednesday or Friday to go out w/ [b] (Formerly Cancellation Guy) So I guess I'm making LG a second priority this week, only b/c he's more available. [b] leaves for Vegas on the 20th.

We shall see what develops over the next couple of days.....

Over n Out

DD

Friday, March 11, 2005

I've SNAPPED out of it!

Ok, so on Wednesday my post was all about me freaking out over the fact that I'm really starting to like the Lighting Guy and I'm eager to know where things are going...... well...I've changed my tune. I'm a chick, I can do that ;-)

After some insight from some friends male and female I realized that it really is very early in the relationship and I just need to chill. It's the sex thing that got my emotions all riled up. So shortly after I got this advise from friends and vented in my blog, I got an e-mail from Mr. Cancellation guy. Some background....we were supposed to go out about 2 months ago and he canceled a few hours before the date due to fraudulent activity on his business account. He was completely freaking out over it, he was going to bounce several checks blah blah blah. He wanted to reschedule but he couldn't do so for about a month b/c he was traveling out of the country for 2 and half weeks blah blah blah. Well, I honestly didn't think I would ever hear from him again but about 3 weeks ago shortly after he got back from his trip he called. Just to touch base, he was busy getting material together for a week long class he was going to be teaching in San Francisco. He says we'll have to get together after he gets back.

So the e-mail says......"How spontaneous are you? I have a meeting early this evening in your neck of the woods, how would you like to meet for dinner, you choose the place. If you're available let's meet at 8 pm." Holly CRAP! I totally want to meet this guy b/c there was such a HUGE build up to the date that never happened that I've been wondering about him in the back of my head for 2 months now! But I have plans to hang with the Lighting Guy that night.....what to do. Here's what I did:
I called the Lighting Guy, got his v-mail "Hey, I just wanted to see if we were still planning on hanging out tonight. Something come up, call me when you get this." He calls back about an hour later. He's actually really wiped out from snow boarding and surfing the day before so let's just reschedule and I can tend to what suddenly came up. Can you believe he didn't even ask what came up?? He was just totally cool with rescheduling b/c he was so tired. So, we're seeing eachother tonight, Friday instead. ;-) So.... I e-mail back Cancellation guy, we're on! See ya at 8 pm!

I arrive just a couple of minutes before he did. We greeted eachother with a huge smile and a hug. We went inside and were seated at table. The conversation flowed very nicely, he's very easy to talk to. Very out-going, he's a salesman so he is very good with smoozing. He caught me up to speed on all of his travels and the one left before his life can go back to a semi normal schedule. I had a lot of fun with him, I laughed a lot and felt very confident. After dinner we went to a bar and I had one more glass of wine. He then walked me to my car and we smooched a little and said good night. He's says he hopes to see me before he leaves for Vegas on the 20th. Hmmmmm..... we'll see.

I don't know if I can juggle. I've never dated more then one person at a time. I'm still totally into the Lighting Guy but cancellation guy could be a good occasional distraction to stop me from obsessing. Up until if and when the Lighting Guy and I have "The Talk" about exclusivity.

I'm way excited about tonight, the Lighting Guy and I are going to SUSHI! I've been craving it for so long!! ;-P

Have a great weekend fellow bloggers!

DD

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Freakin Nut Ball!!!!!

I guess I need to get everyone caught up to speed here on me and the Lighting Guy.

So, last Saturday he went to my friends boyfriends Surprise B'day party with me. It went very well. All of my friends loved him and he seemed to have a good time. We were actually the last people to leave the party at 1:30 am. So we went back to his place and I sort of invited myself to spend the night at his place. It went like this...I was driving back to his place from the party, and he asked if I wanted to go to lunch the next day. My response was "Are you aloud to have girls over?" His response..."oh, yeah, I was actually thinking about that.." I said.. "I don't mean to invite myself..." him.. "oh, no, I was thinking about asking you to stay." So, I went in and spent the night. We had sex, cuddled and I fell asleep on my side with my back facing him and him on his side facing me with his hand on my hip, it was nice.

But then the morning came, we were woken up by his roommate making loud phone calls in the living room. Roommate did not know I was there. The Lighting Guy got up and used the restroom and came back and asked if i was hungry? Yeah, I could eat. We went to Denny's. The conversation was ok, I was a bit hung over. After breakfast we went back to his place and he walked me to his car told me what his plans for the day were and then kissed me and told me to have a good day. Off I went....

Everything sounds good up to this point, right? Well here is where I get a little obsessive and NUTS. I called the Lighting Guy later that night and got his V-mail, left a message....no call back. Monday night I was driving from one job to the next and couldn't help myself, I called him. He answers.."You beat me by 2 mins, I was just putting on my headset to call you." Hmmmm....really??? I know, I'm obsessing. So we chat, talk about our Sunday afternoons and evenings and our Monday. I ask him what he has going on this week, snowboarding on Tuesday and has "plans" on Thursday, would I like to see a movie or something on Wednesday? I respond, sure Wednesday works for me. Ok, great. Have a good night, talk to ya later.

So, now it's Wednesday afternoon and I am making myself NUTS, heres why....
I have a tendency to OVER analyze EVERYTHING. It's very annoying, I get myself all worked up usually for nothing. So, my crazy brain is thinking, why didn't he call last night? Are we still on for tonight? I need to wait for him to call, don't call him! And now, to make my insanity worse... I checked on Match.com this morning. Up until today since we started talking/dating the Lighting Guy's profile said active over 3 weeks ago. Today it says active w/in 24 hrs. Now I realize people that this could mean MANY things. But my crazy obsessive over analytical brain is wondering WHY??? Is he still prospecting for other girls? Did someone contact him that he wanted to check out? Was he just checking in just b/c or was he possibly checking to see how active I have been? It could be any of these reasons I know. Why am I so concerned??? B/c I'm starting to really like him and I don't know how he feels about me.

So why don't I just ask him how he feels or if he's dating other people etc... b/c it scares the sh*t out of me!!! I don't know what I want to hear!!! Either answer could be good or bad! If he says, I just want to keep hanging out etc. but I want to be free to date others as well. That would be fine with me except... I'm starting to really like him and I don't want to date other guys, once I sleep with someone, I'm a one man kind of woman. The other possibility he says, I'm only seeing you and I only want to see you. Ok, now there is a new pressure, it's exclusive....I could get hurt if I open up my heart to him. Am I ready to do that??? I think I am... he is a great guy, seems honest and seems like he would never lie to me or hurt me but.... I've been here before and been hurt...badly....very badly. AHHHHHHH!!!

So, here I am at work...not working at the moment, instead I'm blogging and obsessing over my potential love life. It's been almost a whole fricking year since my life was turned upside down by my ex. I should be ready to start something new...right?

Ok, help me out here peeps, especially you DD. Answer these Q's for me:

1) Am I ready to get serious with someone new?
2) Did I sleep with him too fast? (4th date, 2 weeks in)
3) Is it too soon to ask him how he feels about us, if he's dating others?
4) Did I introduce him to my close friends too soon?
5) If I don't decide to ask him how he feels about us and dating others should I back of a bit? Stop calling him, stop asking him out?
6) Am I just NUTS and should stop worrying so much???

I'm a freakin NUT ball right now I know.......

Over n out

DD

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Grinning from Ear to Ear ;-)

Mmmmm, last night was awesome! Even if it did get off to a late start.

The Lighting Guy called at 6 pm and told me that he would be a little late. He just got home and got a call from his brother and apparently he took his brothers keys home with him and his brother could not lock up their office. So, the Lighting Guy had to turn around and drive back 40 miles to his office. Grrr.... he ended up getting to my place at 8:30 pm. He was supposed to be there at 7 pm, but better late then never.

I made Chicken Marsala, it was my first attempt at making this dish, it came out OK. It wasn't quite Tasty enough for me, but the Lighting Guy liked it, he ate it all anyway. ;-) He brought over a bottle of wine and some dipping oil and focaccia bread that was delicious! Conversation was good as usual, we talked a little more about our friends and what their stories are. He is going to a Birthday party with me on Saturday night, well at least he says he is, we'll see.... I'm a little nervous about him meeting my friends. So I wanted to give him a little back ground on a couple of my friends.

After dinner I made some break and bake chocolate chip cookies, his favorite dessert ;-) We sat on the couch and talked for awhile longer and then we made out for a bit and then took it into the bedroom. The evening was going according to my plan ;-)

First our shirts came off, oooohh I loved the way his skin smelled and the way our bare chests felt against eachother. After some more kissing and caressing, I took his pants off...and made my way down ;-) He then took over and took my pants off and went down....and oh, he knew exactly where to go and what buttons to push. He didn't spend a long time down there, but it was nice. I wasn't going to be able to have an O anyway, I was buzzed from the wine and it usually takes me a few times to get really comfortable with a new partner. So we then proceeded to Do the Deed. It was nice..............while it lasted. Unfortunately the Lighting Guy was a bit premature in his climax. Not ridiculously quick just a bit premature. He felt bad, and was a little
embarrassed. I told him not to worry about it, no big deal, we'll just have to work on that. It was our first time together and we were really into eachother and I guess maybe I was just so HOT he couldn't help himself ;-p Honestly though, I really didn't mind, like I said before I wasn't going to have an O anyway. He told me that he usually has the opposite problem takes a LONG time to cum. We shall see if that is the case in the future.

So, it didn't live up to my greatest expectations, but it was very nice. I enjoyed everything about him sexually. We move together nicely, his scent intoxicate me and fills me with passion. Oh, just thinking about him right now makes me all warm inside ;-)

We talked for a little while after and cuddled and then fell asleep in eachothers arms. It was so nice waking up next to him this morning in my bed ;-) I could really get used to that.....

So there it is, I was able to hold out for exactly 2 weeks, til the 4th date. Not Bad.

Over n Out

DD

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Why Am I Sooo Nervous???

I am sooooo nervous about tonight! I'm making the Lighting Guy dinner, it has been awhile since I've cooked for anyone and of course I chose to make something that I've never made before...STUPID! But it's supposedly a very simple dish, Chicken Marsala. He's bringing the wine and some bread and dipping oil that he got at a Winery in SLO this past weekend. I'm looking forward to tonight but I'm also VERY nervous because..... I think tonight just may be THE NIGHT. I'm trying my best to seduce him with my cooking and candle lit dinner. ;-) It is my GOAL to be dessert this evening ;-p I think I've done pretty good holding out until now.... right?

I even spent $150.00 on stuff for my apt for tonight, I got new cushions to sit on while we eat at the coffee table, like Moroccan style, you know? And I got a frame for a pic I've had forever and I got some more candles, place mats and a table cloth. I'm trying my best to make a good impression tonight.

Ok, this also may be a reason why I am so nervous about the possibility of sex tonight..... it's been almost 4 months since I've had sex, the longest I've gone w/out sex in 4 years!!!! And I'm REALLY jonesing for a Mind Blowing Orgasm! My vibrator and I have been spending WAY too much time together lately! ;-p

Alright, it's almost time to go home and prep for the date. I'll have a full report tomorrow. ;-p

Over n out

DD

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