Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Final Post

A New Year + New Me = New Blog

I have cleaned up this blog a bit to make it primarily about my dating experiences in 2005. So for those of you who have read it for that reason feel free to reflect back anytime. ;-)

Over n Out,

DD

Saturday, December 31, 2005

What I've Learned From Dating in 2005

This past year was a year of getting back into the dating scene and getting reacquainted with who I am and what I want in life and in a relationship. I posted a profile on Match in late 2004 and went out with Tim who I totally obsessed over initially, that being simply because he was the first guy I dated after the Ex. So starting with Tim who was actually from 2004 I'm going to write a quick synopsis of what I have learned from the guys I've dated since the Ex.

1) Tim: He was tall, nice build, gorgeous Blue eyes and a killer smile. He was also very sarcastic, I totally fell for him. After our first date, which during we ended up naked, he told me that I wasn't ready for a new relationship that I needed to be single for awhile. At first I was upset but I later learned that he was right. He kept in touch for close to a year, we got together for oral sex about 3 times, he was incredible! He was the first guy to give me the big "O" from oral sex and there was only one after him that could. He was very talented with his tongue. ;-)

2) The Inspector: A very nice guy, physically not my type. We met for dinner and had good conversation, I knew instantly there wasn't any chemistry but he was nice. We went a saw a movie after diner. I gave him a hug goodbye. He called a few days later asking me out for lunch, I never called him back. (I know, rude of me.)

3) The Lighting Guy (LG): I was interested instantly after reading his e-mail to me. We had SOOOO much in common and he was gorgeous. We met at Dukes for dinner and I had the BEST 1st date of my life. We totally clicked. On date number 4 we slept together, but something was off. We dated for close to two months and eveytime we had sex it was over quickly and I never orgasmed. After my trip to NYC he broke thing off with me. I was sad but knew it was the right thing to do, as much as I liked him and wanted things to work, there was just something missing. We kept in touch and actually went out a couple months ago and caught up, it was nice. From my dating experience with him I learned that chemistry is VERY important, a relationship needs more then just shared interests.

4) [b] : Another guy that I was totally into from the get go. He was good looking, smart, funny and sarcastic. When we met there was incredible chemistry. We had a great diner and kissed goodnight. He called a few days later and we made plans to see eachother again. His job ran late that night so dinner was off but he asked me to come over to his place. This is where I went wrong. I went over, he showed me his work we had great conversation and then started kissing, one thing led to another and we had sex, 3 times. It was AWESOME! Even though I never heard from him after that night, I have no regrets. A relationship never would've worked between us, he was way too dedicated to his work. But DAMN, the sex was incredible, I could've gone for a few more rounds of casual sex with hm. O'well.....

5) The Surfer: The Surfer was a great guy, I liked him a a lot. We had four dates, all were fun but the last date was lacking something that was there before. There was also a week or two between each date, things never really took off. After my 3rd date with the Surfer I got together with the Super and I ended up kinda blowing the Surfer off. A few months later the Surfer e-mailed asking how I was doing. No hard feelings there.

6) The Super: The Older Man. The physical chemistry with the Super was indescribable. It was a force I couldn't control. I knew he wasn't right for me in the beginning but I couldn't help myself. We had a lot of fun together over the four months that we dated. But ultimately he couldn't give me what I wanted in a relationship. From my relationship with him I learned what I really want and that I need to get out there and find it. So, that's why I ended things with the Super, we are still good friends and talk about once a week.

7) "A" : "A" should stand for ASSHOLE! He really was. I tried to give him the benefit of doubt, but he was such an opinionated jerk. After our one date he e-mailed me the next day say he just wasn't feeling it. An that was that.

So those were my dating experiences of 2005. I've learned a lot about myself and what I'm looking for in a relationship this past year. I'm looking forward to what 2006 has in store for me and my Love Life.

Happy New Year! May 2006 be the Best Year Yet!

DD

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Blind Date

Right before I started dating the Super back in May, my mom had asked me if she could give her Carpooler my e-mail address to give to his son. I figured why not? I never heard from him. Now, 6 months later my mom says that he is asking for my e-mail again and can she give it out? Sure, why not? So he e-mailed me last week asking if I would like to meet for lunch or drink some time this week. I responded back that Tuesday or Thursday would work for me. He called me this past Sunday to firm up plans for Tuesday night. He asked if we could meet up at El Torito, so we did.

Going into this date I virtually knew NOTHING about this guy other then his name, age and that he has a dog. He called at 6 pm to let me know that he was stuck in traffic but should be there in a few minutes, so I went into the bar and grabbed a table and ordered a margarita. He told me what he was wearing so when I saw him walk in I flagged him over. I was actually surprised that he was pretty good looking, his fashion was a bit out of date and he needed a hair cut but he had a handsome face and pretty blue eyes.

He ordered a beer and then asked if I would like a taco from the Taco Bar, he went and grabbed us some tacos and returned to the table. He had heard about my dog that I used to have that now lives with some friends of mine so we talked about that for awhile and then he told me some stories about his dogs and talked about our families etc. Somehow we got on the subject of marriage and he asked if I want to get married, I responded "of course". He said that he has NO intention of EVER getting married. Ok.... nice thing to say on a first date. The subject later changed to religion and the idea of Freewill. He is one opinionated dude! What is it with me dating these obstinate men lately???

Overall I had a decent time. We had good conversation even if he dominated it most of the time however, there was NO love connection. I don't know that I will let my mom set me up anymore, I'll stick to Match and the random chance of bumping into someone in everyday life.

And now....I am actually off to have dinner with the Super. I haven't seen him since we broke up 2-1/2 months ago. I'm looking forward to it, it will be good to see him.

Details to follow tomorrow.......

DD

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The Holiday Season

I generally enjoy the Holiday Season, for it is filled with friends, family and parties. The next couple of weeks are FULL of activities for me.

Tonight: Going to a local Bar/Club on Main St. for a locals Holiday Party. Half off drinks and free buffet. I'm going with a couple of single girlfriends, should be a good time.

Thursday: Company Holiday Party, I always have a good time at the company Holiday Party b/c I have ALWAYS (past 4 yrs) had a date who was my DD, so I could drink myself silly. This year I am going Stag due to the fact that I am SINGLE as can be, also b/c my sister& best co-worker friend are both going Stag as well so we can keep eachother company among the many happy couples. I will however need to drive myself home that night so I will have to settle with just a couple of drinks early in the evening.

Friday: Holiday party at Whitney & Andy's new gorgeous house. My entire HS Posse will be there plus some others, I'm hoping there will be some single guys there and not just a crowd of couples. I will be attending with my 4 best Girfriends and their significant others and getting a ride back to Monkeys place to crash there for the night so I will be able to drink myself silly at this party. ;-) Good Times...

Saturday: Sleep off the hangover from Friday night and have Brunch with 4 Best GF's and significant others then, meet up with Mom to finish up Holiday shopping then have dinner with the Parental Units and Little Sis.

Sunday: Annual Holiday Party and Gift Exchange with the HS Posse at Will & Ali's. Myself and Biz will be the ONLY singles at this party, yeah! This party is usually very fun but I tend to leave feeling depressed b/c I just spent the evening with Happily married couples who have children.

Next Wednesday: Holiday Potluck and White Elephant Luncheon at work. ALWAYS fun! Way too much food but everybody really gets into the White Elephant and people fight over gifts, good times.

Next Friday: Dinner with My Girls....and then who knows, hopefully a night on the town.

Christmas Eve: Family festivities in the LBC

Christmas Day: Spend the entire day at my parents with my mom's mom and aunt & uncle from AR, have dinner and open presents. After dinner go to my friend Cre's moms place for drinks and more good times.

Monday: Paid Holiday = NO work!!! Recover from the holidays so that I can Party like a Rock Star next Saturday on New Years Eve.

New Years Eve: I think I'll be attending a Dress-Up party, I have NO idea what to wear. The theme is Dress as Your Favorite Era. Hmmmm.,.. '80's? '60's? I really don't want to have to BUY something to wear. Need to think about this one a bit more.

Why I am PISSED OFF at the Holiday Season this year:

1) I am still single. *The Holidays are always more enjoyable when you have a significant other, for me anyway.

2) I am never prepared finacially for the Holiday Shopping.

3) I spend more $$$ on gifts then I get a return since I am single w/out children. I know, the Holiday Spirir is to Give and NOT receive, but come on for my friends who are married with children I buy 4 gifts and get 1 in return. Bah-Humbug!

4) Most of all I am pissed off b/c I think about my Ex. I wonder if he live with the Bitch that he left me for yet, or if they're engaged. DAMN HIM! I want him OUT of my thoughts!!!

That's it. The reasons why I like the Holidays and why I hate them this year. At least the Good out weighs the Bad by quite a bit. ;-)

Happy Holidays Everyone!

DD

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Could this be a new beginning...

Last night I went to dinner with someone from my past. He called me on my drive home and said he knew it was last minute but did I want to get together for a drink? I had no plans so I said sure.

He met me at my place a little before 8 pm and we walked down to Main Street and had dinner and split a bottle of wine and had really nice conversation for a couple of hours. There was great people watching since it was Halloween and several people were dressed up. It felt really nice spending time with him again, I was actually more comfortable with him then I ever was when we were dating. Maybe it's b/c the pressure was off and as far as I knew it was just a friendly dinner.

We walked back to my place and I invited him in. He sat on the couch and I sat on my bed across from him (my studio is very small). We talked for about a half hour and then he used the restroom and said he should get going. He gave me a hug and I told him it was good to see him, he said it was good to see me as well and as he pulled away from our embrace he kissed me on the lips. We continued to kiss and soon we were in a tight embrace kissing eachother. He walked me towards the bed and we laid down and made out for awhile and then turned the light off and kept at it until all of our clothes were off and one thing lead to another and we had some really awesome sex. It was very tender and slow yet passionate and hot at times.

Afterwards he said "Wow, that was awesome". I said "Yes, and unexpected". He hadn't expected it either. I told him as he laid on top of me and I was stroking his back that I'm very comfortable with him. His response was just a mumbled "Ummmm..." I don't know why I said that. I wasn't sure what to think of what had just happened. I'm still obviously very attracted to him and really enjoy spending time with him but I don't know what his intentions are.

I asked him if he was going to stay over and he said he probably shouldn't, his alarm clock was set at his place and it's pretty loud and doesn't want it to wake up the neighbors, so he should go home. I said "That's cool, I was just offering". And then he rolled over and put his arm around me and kissed my side and then my lips. He got dressed, gave me a hug and few sweet kisses good bye and he mentioned that he wants me to see his new place, maybe next week sometime. I told him I look forward to it and I'll talk to him soon.

The ball is totally in his court. I'm not going to peruse him. He''ll call if he wants to see me. I feel like I was too aggressive with him before and that may have been what chased him off. I'm not sure what's going to happen but I know that I'm TOTALLY up for giving it another chance with him. Things ended amicably with us when we broke up and we've kept in touch ever since so there's really no reason to not give it another go.

We shall see what happens. But I will tell you one thing, I have the biggest grin ever on my face today. Last night was incredible. ;-)

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Breaking Up is HARD to do

The past few weeks I have been taking a long hard look at my relationship with the Super. Although he is a fantastic guy and has treated me wonderfully, he's just not "The One". I was struggling with how I was going to do it, break up with him. Well, last week he presented me with the perfect opportunity. Here's what happened:

Last Thursday his cell phone broke, so we didn't talk at all that day which was the first time in months that we didn't hear eachothers voice. Friday, I e-mailed him my phone number so he could get in touch with me since his phone book is stored in his cell, he couldn't access my cell number. All day, nothing from him, no call no e-mail. Then around 4 pm I got a call from his secretary at his office asking if I had another phone number for him, they are trying to get in touch with him since he didn't show up for work. I told her, no I don't have any other number and I actually hadn't talked to him myself for a couple of days. Now I was concerned, it's not like the Super to not show up for work or call in. I tried his cell again, straight to v-mail.

All weekend I tried to call him, no answer just v-mail. I was feeling a combination of frustration and concern, where in the HELL was he?? And is he ok???

Monday when I got into work I gave him a call from my work line and he ANSWERED! I was so stunned that I hung up. About 10 mins later when I collected myself I called him back, straight to v-mail. WHAT THE HELL??? Now I was PISSED!! So I wrpte him the following e-mail:

Super,

Are you going to enlighten me on where you were all weekend and why I never heard from you? For what it's worth I was worried sick all weekend. When Louise called me Friday afternoon asking if I had another phone number for you b/c they couldn't get in touch with you and you hadn't shown up for work I started to worry. I e-mailed you my phone numbers and called and left you a voice mail, I thought I would've heard something from you by now.

I called your cell phone several times this weekend and always got your v-mail until this morning when I called and you answered, I was so shocked that I hung up. When I collected myself enough to call you back and talk to you, I got your v-mail again, which tells me that you are avoiding me and don't want to talk.

I don't know what's going on with you, but I think I deserve an explanation. If this is your way of breaking things off with me, it's WEAK!

If you don't want to talk to me, I hope that you will at least respond to this e-mail to give me a Heads-Up to what's going on.


His response:

I'm sorry I didn't call you. Thanks for caring, I have a lot of crap going on in my head right now and you don't deserve the silent treatment. My phone is getting fixed right now(I'm getting a new one and when you called we were in the middle of it. It should be working shortly and my daughter is having some serious problems right now, I'm trying to sort that out, some things are a bit overwhelming to me right now and I just have to get through it. I will call you when I can today, again I'm very sorry for my actions!

We finally talked briefly on Tuesday morning. He told me that his daughter got into a confrontation with 3 other girls at school and they may need to get a Lawyer. So that is why he didn't go to work Friday and then he gave me some small talk about work and then had to go attend to a work matter. I didn't talk to him again until I called him last night.

I woke him up from a nap at 8:30 pm and he sounded down. He says all he wants to do is come home and sleep. He then asked how I was doing, I told him I've had a lot on my mind and I've been thinking a lot about what I want for my future and from a relationship and that our relationship isn't healthy. When he had a family crisis he didn't call his Girlfriend for support or even to tell me what was going on, instead I was left in the dark not hearing from him for 5 days and assuming the worst. He apologized and agreed that I deserve better, and that is just his way of dealing with his stress. He keeps to himself, that's fine for him, not me. I want my significant other to talk to me and lean on me for support. So I told him that this past weekend had just solidified my decision that we aren't right for eachother, we want different things from a relationship right now. When we started dating we were both on the same page, we didn't want anything serious, just to date and have fun, but then it turned into something more, but not quite what I want and need now. He understood and we both said we would like to stay friends.

We are supposed to have dinner tonight to talk some more. He is going through a tough time and I want to be there for him as a friend. I'll have a full report tomorrow about whatever we end up talking about tonight.

So, here I am once again....SINGLE. But it's good. I've learned a lot about myself from my relationship with the Super and he has shown me how I deserve to be treated (this past week aside) he always complimented me and made me feel good about myself and we always had a good time with eachother. I have realized that I am ready to meet someone special and open my heart up to a new relationship and possibly one that lasts forever.

Wish me luck on finding Love. ;-)

Over n Out,

DD

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

It's Time To Make a Decision

Can I just say that knowing you need to end a relationship with someone who has been NOTHING but wonderful to you absolutely SUCKS!

The last couple of weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I want in the LONG run for my romantic future. I know that eventually I want to get married, start a life with someone and eventually have a family together. I've also realized that I really want to experience all of those things for the first time along with my partner. My feeling for the Super have weakened and I know that he's not "The One". I need to break things off with him. It's going to SUCK! I care about him soooo much. He's been nothing but wonderful to me and I know that my reasons for breaking things off with him will hurt.

I'm used to being the "Dumpee" not the "Dumper", sucks either way. Also, breaking up with him will most likely mean ending our friendship as well. I hope not, but we all know how it goes when one person still wants more then the other, a friendship is hard to make happen. I know I need to do this soon, but I just can't do it yet.

Am I being selfish? I'm just not quite ready for things to end, not just yet.

HOLLY HELL THIS REALLY SUCKS!

Over n Out,

DD

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